Your Friends and Those That Love You

A frequently asked question is: “Why do so few people succeed when there is so much opportunity in the world?” The answer is simply that some of your closest friends and relatives love you too much. Seems like a crazy statement doesn’t it? So please read on to discover the logic and wisdom that has gone into it.

Why not start by examining love and friendship?

If you love somebody you want to protect them from all the problems and obstacles that life throws up from time to time. You want place a protective barrier around them so that they are subjected only to the good things and are far removed from risk or exposure. This is a fact and if you do not express love in this manner you should maybe take a look at your relationships.

It is very similar with friendship in that we want our friends to be protected from anybody, or thing, that may be a danger to them. This is a natural response that we all feel otherwise there would be no such thing as friendship and the world would be a poorer, less happy place.

But do not close your mind to the fact that you are big enough to protect yourself from the problems that life may bring and you cannot be a success if you do not overcome problems.

Here are some examples that explain this phenomenon: Just watch a mother protecting her child: She doesn’t want him to take up boxing because he may get hurt. If she feels he is being treated unfairly at school she takes the matter up with the teacher or school principle. If she feels he is doing anything that may upset him if it goes wrong she immediately starts to steer him away from it. If that fails she makes a darn good excuse for him to use if it does fail in the future. She is making a soft landing for him.

Before we examine the effects of the mother’s natural behaviour let us take a look at friendship and how friends protect each other.

A young man is slightly drunk and arrives at a ladies house and tries to talk her into letting him in. She makes a polite excuse and sends him away. As soon as he leaves she thinks about whom he may go to next and she realizes that he is also friendly with a one of her girlfriends. First thing she does is telephone the girlfriend to warn her that she may get a call from this drunken friend. She does this because she wouldn’t be a very good friend if she didn’t; or so she thinks. Even police investigations are often hampered by friends protecting each other when they don’t know the reasons for the investigation. It is natural for friends to protect each other just as it is natural for a mother to support her child. But, and this is a big question: Are you helping or harming your friend with your sense of care?

People that are close to you actually hold you back by feeding negative comments to you in an effort to protect you. Part 2 of this article examines how you should react to this protection.