When you enter into an argument with another, what is it that you hope to gain? If you enter into a heated debate with someone else, you must realize that there are more than the two entities involved.
There are the two participating in the verbal exchange and there are the two silent observers; the spirits or souls of the bodies.
For the egos, there are four possible outcomes of the engagement, win, lose, compromise or stalemate. For spirit there it is a win/win episode. The only purpose of the argument for the soul is to experience the physical manifestation of an argument and to elevate it to a higher level of understanding.
Although the end result for either of the participants may be to win the argument by getting what they want, they are actually losing if they have not been true to themselves (spirit) by elevating the other to a higher level of understanding.
Compromise is seen by many as losing. However, that is not the case. Compromise elevates the outcome of the debate to a higher level for both parties. When you give someone the opportunity to lose in an argument you are degrading yourself and you have moved into a destructive state of mind. Because you have no control over how the other thinks or feels, he may come out the winner even though you believe you won the argument. What you have done is missed the opportunity to elevate yourself to a higher level of awareness and understanding by not raising your opponent’s position. It is the natural flow of all beings to move to a higher level of enlightenment or evolution. If that end has not been part of your agenda in the argument, you have simply missed the opportunity. The other may have this awareness and would not see losing the argument as detrimental to his/her own evolution, therefore becoming the actual winner in the disagreement. You may think you have won, but you have really failed in being true to spirit.
Your case or argument would work better for you if in trying to get your point across; you helped the other to understand rather than give in or walk away. When you help another you are really helping yourself by being true to the part of you that helps others – you raise your spirit to a place that knows itself as helping. This does not mean that you give in or give up your position, but you gain much more. All interactions with others are opportunities for you to evolve and become more than what you are now. Every person comes bearing a gift for you whether you see it or not. You must know that without this argument you will have missed an opportunity to declare who you really are, and that is the greatest gift another can give to you – that is the unseen present. The chance to be present, alive, and declare yourself as this or that, and it is all your soul desires.
On the flip side, one could also argue that by not giving an opportunity for your opponent to elevate himself you are being true to yourself as a person who does not help or care. So you would be consistent with how you see yourself and declaring yourself as such. This however, does not elevate or enlighten you and is inconsistent with spirit. Every missed opportunity to declare yourself as helpful leaves you farther behind in your own evolution if you see yourself as helpful or caring.
The true winners in any argument are those who have compromised and allowed the other to understand and see their point without leaving them wounded. Your opponent also becomes a new ally in your thought process and gains a new respect for you and your opinions. This brings more validity to your argument, snd your soul has exercised its purpose.
From any given perspective everyone is either “right” or “wrong” and the truth is that “right” and “wrong” are very poor quality words and are never accurate as they are judgmental. There is really only that which “works” and “does not work.” If you are “right” then someone else has to be “wrong,” and that does not work for either one of you.
In order for an argument to occur, there has to be consent between all parties. So in that sense, both parties are getting what they want. However, the argument does not have to be about winning or losing. Both come away elevated when they feel they have both contributed to a positive outcome. And for the spirit – its purpose has been served.