One of the most popular causes for lack of self confident is becoming one hundred percent dependent on others to feel confident and worthy.
The problem with that approach is that if people judged you in bad way you will feel bad and sometimes worthless.
There is no doubt that in order to become really confident you shouldnt pay attention to what people say about you especially the ones who dont know you well.
For such an advice its easier to talk than to apply it because even if you tried not to care about the opinion of others you will still feel bad when they judge you.
The only solution to setting yourself free from the unfair judgment of others is to understand why do people judge others and how their judgment is formed. Once you know how the process works you wont get affected at all if someone judged you.
The psychology of judging others
You might be thinking that its too selfish not to listen to others or to consider their opinion to be worthy but after you know the following facts you will change your mind.
The human mind was designed to fill gaps, we assume the intentions of other people when we have missing information and this leads to incorrect judgment most of the time
Our past influence the way we judge people, for example if a woman was betrayed by a man she might assume that any man who acts in a suspicious way is a cheater
We relate peoples looks to their personality. If you met an arrogant person in the past then saw someone who looks like him you will assume that they both have the same personality
We believe that others are like us, if someone lies all the time he will find it hard to believe others because he will think that everybody are liars
Our beliefs affects our judgment, if someone thinks that all rich people are thieves then he will think that you are a thief the moment he sees your expensive car
Stereotyping highly affects peoples judgments, anybody who has certain stereotypes defined in his brain might judge someone incorrectly, almost everyone developed some stereo types as the result of being exposed to the media.
In short, most people will judge you incorrectly and if you want to feel confident all the time then you should put no weight to their judgment unless they are really rational people.
Who can judge you accurately?
If a friend spent 10 years with you, wont he be more likely to judge you correctly? (provided that he doesnt have any judgment bias)
Of course he will be able to judge you better than someone who has just met you.
Now the question you should ask yourself is, who is the person who spent the most time with you?
Is he your father?
Your best friend?
You are the only one who have been with you since the beginning. In addition, you are the only one who have full access to your intention, your beliefs, your core values and dreams thus you are the only one who can judge himself.