What Role Are You in Relationships?

Are you having difficulty finding what you’re looking for in a romantic relationship? Maybe you’re in a relationship, but at times you’re just not communicating well.

Before blaming your partner or thinking there’s no one out there for you, consider taking a good look at what role you’re playing in relationships and what it is you’re attracting.

In theatre, great drama and great romance stems from great roles. The same is true in relationships.

So what’s your role?

1. The HERO

As men and women, it’s normal to compete in sports, in business or in school. We’re taught to go out and get what we want in the world. We’re rewarded for producing. We’re compensated for performance. That’s all good.

But are you competitive in your romantic relationships?

A masculine HERO knows what he wants and goes after it. He thinks, acts and problem solves. He usually brings the money and status in a relationship.

A HERO isn’t always the man. Women can be HEROES too.

In fact, women are HEROES when they nurture and mother. Giving, protecting and cherishing are HERO skills. (Shocking, but true). Female HEROES usually mother their men.

Many romantic relationships end up going competitive because there are two too many HEROES on stage.


The INGENUE is feminine. Feminine is not to be confused with passive. The INGENUE is a potent, powerful energy, but operates very differently from the HERO.

An INGENUE gets what she wants by knowing what she doesn’t want. Ingenues receive and give back in appreciation. They are available and are open to ideas and suggestions. INGENUES respect their HEROES.

INGENUES are feeling-oriented. Their mantra is: If It Feels Good, Do it!

Unlike a HERO who goes competitive wanting to achieve and win, INGENUES go competitive with feelings.

Sometimes there are two too many INGENUES in a romantic relationship.


If there is such a thing as a healthy narcissist, it would have to be a single MASTER. “What do I want to do? What do I feel like eating? I have to pay my bills. I don’t want to go out tonight.” The MASTER acts on both thoughts and feelings…which is perfectly fine in a single lifestyle.

In a relationship, the role of MASTER goes to the partner who gets both thoughts respected AND feelings cherished.

The MASTER is both HERO and INGENUE in his/her relationship, leaving very little (if any) room for a poor, unworthy…

4. The SLAVE

Like a doormat, the SLAVE gets stepped on, but doesn’t speak. The SLAVE’S only role is to serve their super egotistical narcissistic MASTER.

The SLAVE respects and cherishes his/her partners thoughts and feelings and is seldom rewarded or acknowledged for their own needs.

When a SLAVE is noticed, it’s usually to be kicked or walked upon. Often the SLAVE will incorrectly “mind read” the wants or needs of their MASTER or does something displeasing. When this happens, tragedy can occur. (Remember O.J., anyone?)

So which role are you? 🙂

For more articles by the Dating Director go to: “Love Life & Looking Good” Article Blog.