What Not To Do When Chatting Up Girls

In the movie “Bad Teacher” there are a few scenes that relate to the typical teenage crush and how a guy learns to pluck up the courage to ask a girl out. Unfortunately this kid generally attempts it the wrong way, committing many mortal sins in terms of teenage dating etiquette.

It’s rather unfortunate but this often happens. You learn through experience and it’s not always obvious how to identify with the girl you want to chat up and choose an appropriate line. Is she a super cool girl? Is she a 9 or a 7 or a 5 in her own perception, or in your mates’ eyes, or in your own perception? Is she the sort of girl who thinks deeply, or superficially?

In this movie the poor lad declares his love, alongside some private personal experiences, in front of the entire class. He was completely uncool in his chat up lines and declaration of love. He had started the day with no street cred in any case, due to his standard choice of attire and lack of trendy image, not to mention his penchant for writing poetry.

This kid just needed a few pointers in the right direction. Basically, that’s pretty much what we all need. You’re lucky if you traverse this learning curve whilst you’re a teenager. Many people still have to learn how to flirt when they are many years older.

In the same movie, we see Cameron Diaz forcing one of the older, plumper, more timid teachers to go and chat to a couple of guys. She gives the briefest of instructional tips and moments later it’s clear that what she said were the tried and tested golden nuggets of dating wisdom.

The fact is that many guys don’t know how to chat up girls and many girls don’t know how to flirt. There’s an art and a technique to both. You learn through experience and some people get a lot of experience whilst others simply do not.

Humor is always a very safe plan. If you can make someone laugh, you get them smiling and all of their barriers come tumbling down. You create a positive emotional experience, in a very safe and impersonal way, unless of course your sense of humor is a bit close to the bone or too risqué.

The key to finding the right chat up line, or flirtations approach, is being able to identify what type of personality your intended target is. Instead of projecting what you think onto that person, take a step back and really see that person. What would she like to hear, what are her interests, what type of girl is she, what’s going to make her laugh?

You have to find a way to feel that you are on the same wavelength. You will only do this when you are feeling comfortable in yourself, thereby having the ability to see clearly, with eyes unclouded by anxiety or lack of self-belief. If you are too busy thinking about how uncomfortable and uncertain you are, you will not have room in your mind to see her clearly or to listen to her properly.

Any chat up line works so long as it is appropriate to the girl and the circumstances, and providing you deliver it well. It’s not what you say most of the time; it’s how you say it.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis confidence mp3s to assist with relationship issues.

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