Copyright 2006 John Halderman
What is one of the most complex things you have learned in life that you actually did very easily?
The language of your family. You grew up immersed in it, as everyone around you was speaking it; you automatically learned it by copying them. The fact that your specific language characteristics will vary depending upon the region of the country you were in is clear evidence that you learned from those you were around.
You actually became proficient with this complex skill set without even knowing you were doing it. Do you realize how powerful a personal growth and development tool you have that you are not exercising any choice over?
You are the product of the people and situations that have surrounded you during your life. Everyone and everything you have had contact with has had some kind of influence on your life.
Your thoughts, habits, how you perceive things, mannerisms, speech, opinions, beliefs, how you deal with situations, how you interact with people, the things you like to do and your emotional reactions all have been heavily influenced without your choice.
You have modeled much from your parents and others that you have closely associated with over the years, without even realizing that you are doing it. Now that’s efficient learning! Wouldn’t it have been nice if the learning process in your formal education was this effortless!
Now you may not like all that you have become, since you want to change, but you must admit you are definitely a good example of what you have been modeling all these years. If you make the effort to analyze how you are similar to your lifelong surrounding, you will clearly see yourself in those people and situations.
Is your dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, stress, anxiety or depression partially related to what you may have picked up from others in life?
What about a positive attitude, self-motivation, abilities for coping with stress, a deep self-awareness or goal setting habits? Have you been able to pick up any of these positive-thinking attributes from anyone?
All this time you’ve been using this ability to copy others unconsciously to construct who you are today, what if you could take command of the ability and do it on purpose? What if everything you did was an affirmation for specifically what you want!
Since you are so good at modeling, why not use that ability to help make the changes in your life that you desire by consciously choosing specifically who and what to model?
We all come naturally equipped with many powerful abilities that we are not totally utilizing, that if managed better, would support the happiness and satisfaction we crave.
Modeling or copying thought patterns and behavior others have already proven lead to success in their life can be applied to yours with similar outcomes. Just as the characteristics of any raw material, like steel, is the same no matter who is working it, thoughts and actions follow predictable laws.
Whenever you plant an apple seed, if you get anything, you will get an apple tree – always! Never a peach nor a rose. Specific thoughts and actions lead to known outcomes, there is evidence of this everywhere in this universe. Isn’t what we call science the study of how things work predictably?
Another factor that seems to work against your efforts to change and grow is also based on all that you have unknowingly accumulated over the years. This is your basic resistance to change what currently is.
Your life is what it is today and it will take some form of applied energy to change it. Take the example of a piece of steel; if left alone, it will stay in its current form. It takes some sort of focused energy specifically applied to change its form, like heat, force or pressure.
All things tend to stay as they are if there is not something affecting some influence upon it.
Now you are always changing to a certain degree whether you want to or not, but the part of our thought processes commonly called the ego, seems to work to keep things as they are.
So, change in your life will usually take some effort on your part. And the effort must affect all that you have accumulated up to this point.
The thing that many people have difficulty with is in figuring out what and how to change. This may seem odd until you think about how you perceive, analyze and interpret everything based on what you have developed into at this point.
You see, you are trying to do something completely new to you, using the knowledge, experience and mental tools you have used to support your current life. It’s like trying to make a light bulb before glass was invented.
Again this is where the value of modeling known success is evident, you can use the proven developments of someone else to shorten or eliminate the learning curve for yourself. Why go through the long arduous process yourself when someone has already done it.
I’m not saying you won’t ever figure these things out on your own, but how long will it take, if ever? You can choose to use your time and efforts towards actually integrating a known success habit or trait into your life, rather than trying to discover it on your own.
Be more like a scientist with your life, take what others have already proven and carry on from there.
Choose to make part of your life that which supports the life you want, with the help of others.