Is yours a “why not me attitude”? A why not me attitude enables you to see yourself in successful situations even though you have set ambitious goals for yourself. If you have a why not me attitude seeing a successful person inspires you to work harder to reach your goals, it does not make you feel envious.
If you don’t have this attitude, it is all too easy for you to think of any number of reasons why you might fail in anything you attempt. Considering and fearing failure will lead to more negative thoughts that will deter you from aiming high when you set your personal goals. The key is that you have to create and maintain a positive mental image of yourself. This won’t happen if you think that all rich successful people must be different from you, better in some way and possess some secret power necessary to success. Most millionaires would seem completely ordinary if you removed their wealth?
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not” – Author Unknown
There is a certain type of person who has the opposite to the “why not me” attitude. They have the “if only” attitude. These people are scornful of successful people but, underneath they are envious. Take, for example, the couch potato who sees a beautiful actress on TV and says “I could look as good as her if only I had her money”. In fact, the actress will probably have put a lot of work into looking as good as possible by taking care of her appearance, dieting and exercising sensibly. The couch potato refuses to accept that she is responsible for her sagging figure, spotty complexion and unkempt hair by shifting focus to the question of wealth. Even a fortune could not get the potato to give up her place on the couch in favour of exercising and pursuing physical improvement. She would be exactly the same person but with more money, and the money would be completely wasted on her; her mentality would still be that of a victim of circumstance; if she had one million dollars, she would envy a person with two million.
“You can’t be envious and happy at the same time”. – “Harold Coffin
It is not only women who have the “if only” attitude. There are men who sit in bars with their friends talking about successful business owners and say things like “That could be me if only I had his money”. The point these misguided individuals fail to grasp is that the wealth did not bring success, it happened the opposite way round. If these bar-room philosophers were given a fortune, they would not use it to build success and increase their wealth, all they would manage to do would be to spend the money.
Success requires effort and a positive attitude where there is no room (indeed, no need) for the corrosive emotion of envy. If you adopt an “if only” attitude, you will be declaring yourself a failure without even making a bid for success
“Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.” – Harold Coffin