Are you facing the two “Ds” head on and working past, through, or around them, if necessary?
A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent. William Blake, 1757-1827
The power of Intent is truly a double edge sword. When the intent of the management value includes coming from integrity,” you can bring good to your life and the lives of others.
Those who come from the 2 Ds = “Deceit” and “Duplicity” will use intent to undermine the good around them for their own benefit. This sword can ruin companies, it can ruin lives.
The first time I hear the word “duplicity” was while listening to Steven Covey in “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. He talked about working amongst people who have motives that are duplicitous. Where, on the surface it appears that they care about you, your career, the company and doing the right thing, somewhere inside their conscience they are ready to make decisions based on what is best for them personally with no consideration for right or wrong, or good or bad. If it benefits them, usually financially, then they will do what is necessary.
Sometimes this behavior is born of jealousy. Certainly those who believe in the win/lose mindset, which is “if I win then you lose, if you win, then I must lose”, would come from the power of jealousy in order to win every time.
Others move this further to the negative and believe that the “pie” is only so big; therefore my piece of the pie must be bigger than your piece. This is better known as scarcity mentality.
In any case, this behavior falls smack in the middle of the 2 Ds, Deceit and Duplicity.
Many times you will be slow to recognize this behavior. If you are a person of integrity, then the last thing you are looking for is the 2 “Ds” in the interactions you face every day. With women its intuition, with men it’s their “gut feeling”, but somehow you will spot this behavior as time passes and the business or personal days move forward.
The behavior is rampant in corporate business. This comes from the sheer volume of people and circumstances you face when working for one company or another. This does not say that you won’t face this as an entrepreneur, mother, PTA member, civic counsel member, church group member or participant in a sports team activity. This behavior can manifest itself in all of these environments.
Our goal is to value Intent and use it as the stabilizing force in our interactions every day.
There are simple steps you can take to determine the intent of those interacting with you:
1. Stop, take the count of 5 and evaluate the intent in your action or reaction. Is this something I am doing or saying with the goal of contributing or is it something I think will improve my standing over others ?
2. Evaluate what you know about the person with whom you are interacting. Have you known them a long time? Is this behavior similar to that expressed in situations before? Have you established a trust relationship with this person in the past? All of these questions will help you determine if the person in question is coming from the 2 “Ds”.
3. As Jack Canfield would say “Events X Response = Outcome” So, how you react to the situation is more important than the situation itself.
4. Remember, most times it’s not at all about you! Oh, you think its personal, you think you are being offended in a desire to hurt you or make you look bad. In reality, the person creating the circumstances is the one that it’s all about! The better you separate yourself from the emotions of the moment, the better chance you have to react in a way that will benefit both parties in the long run.
5. Are you coming from the intent to use integrity? Are you looking at this as an opportunity to gain ground? Can you make someone really look deficient in front of the team with your ability to” smart” your way through the response? WOW, this is the time for the “gut” check. You may find, when you look at yourself, the 2 “Ds” are present in your profile.
6. If you are a person of integrity and if you are a person who is smart, self-confident and you know your intent is pure, then face the interaction from the best part of yourself. Remain calm, discuss the facts, present solutions, gain understanding of the other person’s position and walk away when you are in a no win situation. Time and space sometimes solve many issues.
The Power of Intent can make or break the best of us. We have many things on our minds all day long and it’s so easy to react quickly to any and all situations that may need a little more attention than you have given it at the time. Take the Power of your Intention to guide you. Use your inner compass to help you face each situation from your best self.
Women, remember that the “Gender Curtain” is alive and well and you may have to consider that subtle male/female relationship in order to make the most significant progress in your career as you react to the intent of your male counterparts. What is the Gender Curtain you ask? Continue to look for more on this subject as we face the fall of 2007!