The term, Self Esteem, is tossed around in everyday conversation but most people do not know the exact meaning of it. Most people think that self esteem is the other name for self confidence. Of course, self confidence is included in the definition of self esteem but self esteem covers much more than self confidence. True magic happens once you understand self esteem and learn how to have higher self esteem than you now have.
You may be surprised to know that there are millions of people that are at the height of their self confidence but have very poor self esteem. In fact, most of the human race fall into this category. The most common examples are movie actors, comedians, and singers who excel when performing and who are extremely insecure out of the public eye.
So what is self esteem, exactly? Self esteem is what we think and say about ourselves to ourselves.
If you trash talk yourself, you have to stop. You wouldn’t verbally beat up a friend, so don’t do it to yourself either. Take out a sheet of paper and make a list of all the bad things you think and say about yourself. Now make another list of positive things you could say instead. Whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative, immediately stop and counter it with something positive. This will take some practice, but you will eventually be able to stop all the trash talk and think and feel much better about yourself.
Did you know that self esteem and health are inextricably linked? By keeping healthy, you will feel motivated to identify and achieve your life goals, which leads to higher self esteem. In turn, having high self esteem means that you value yourself enough to want to look after your health!
In adolescents, even the most confident of adolescents can grow up to experience low self esteem and to feel unworthy. Adult life can be tough and it can sometimes feel like “survival of the fittest” so adolescents act out as a defense mechanism to cover low self esteem.
One of the easiest steps to improve self esteem is to push yourself to do “difficult” things.
This breeds a sense of pride.
Pride in yourself and your accomplishments will give you a higher opinion of yourself (the esteem you have for yourself). By using your willpower to actually do some of these things, your self esteem will grow and along with it your perception of your own abilities. This in turn will create a momentum in your life where success breeds more success.
Never compare yourself with others. Every single person on the Earth has one attribute or another that you do not have. You have attributes that they do not have.
Comparisons are the easiest way to start feeling inferior and losing most of your self esteem. Instead, think about yourself in terms of your achievements. This will help you build or rebuild your self-confidence and it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer group at the same time. The result is self esteem magic in action.
The greater your self confidence, the greater your self esteem.
Focus on your achievements. If you take the time to think about it, you will realize that you have achieved many things in your life. It doesn’t matter what these achievements are. It only matters that they have been recognized by at least one other person. We all have such achievements. List them and remember what it meant to you to have them recognized by someone else.
It doesn’t matter what you think about your overall life at present. If you are honest with yourself you will make a long list of positive things you have done and that list will make you feel better about yourself. Every small thing you are proud of should be added to your list. The fact that you are focusing on positives will also help you to increase your level of self esteem.
One of the most important things you should be aware of is the erroneous belief that you need to be different from how you are in order to be loved. This idea causes a great deal of misery. Unless you are happy within, you’ll never be truly satisfied with what you do. Liking yourself unconditionally is the key to happiness. Yes, you need to like yourself as you are and grow from there.
With improved self-esteem, your relationships with others will improve as well.
You don’t have to be perfect because even the most loved person in the world makes mistakes! You don’t even have to do your best. You don’t have to prove anything. You’re all right because you’re all right, and lovable exactly as you are.
I’m in your corner cheering you on!