You have a big dream. You have a clear vision of what you want to accomplish. You visualize success, say your affirmations, and you take action. You wait around for things to happen, but… nothing. At first, you are holding steady and strong, keeping the faith that what you are longing for will come to pass. But, then, when you least expect it, you start to feel a cloud of darkness surround you.
You feel agitated and irritable. Then you start the self-pity, “Why is this happening to me? I’ve been trying SO hard, and I’m not seeing results!” It’s your impatience rearing its ugly head.
Most people think that impatience is relatively harmless, but that’s not necessarily true. Impatience untethered can be dangerous! It is the first loop in a downward spiral. Your impatience can bring you down in three distinct ways.
First, it focuses your attention on what’s missing. What you focus on magnifies; therefore, when you focus your attention on the lack of success, you start to notice more lack in your endeavors.
Second, because you are focused on what’s missing, you miss out on the progress that you HAVE made. Instead of celebrating and revering your progress, you discount and minimize it.
Third, the combined effect of focusing on what’s missing and discounting what’s working attracts negative emotions: you may feel hopeless, discouraged, lethargic, or incompetent. Your impatience can even lead to depression!
Moreover, the feeling of impatience is so charged! It is so powerful that it actually requires most people to move! (Think tapping fingers, pacing, jumping to make a decision, etc.). This charge can make you want to take action. However, the negative feelings that you experience (as described above) may prevent you from taking PRODUCTIVE action. You may find yourself engaging in what Time Millionaire, Melody Stevens calls “low-dividend activities” – activities that do not have a great return on the energy you put into them, such as complaining, whining, or gossiping. Alternatively, your impatience may lead you to make rash decisions from a place of desperation, rather than clarity. Ultimately, the time and energy spent on these actions are unproductive because they don’t move you toward accomplishing your goal. Then, the lack of results reinforces the negative feelings and stirs a new level of impatience (and possibly another downward spiral!).
A moderate amount of impatience is normal when you are longing to have something happen. But, it’s important to monitor your impatience and get a hold of it before it gets dangerous and derails your success. Here are a few tips to help you manage your
1. Trust in divine timing. Ultimately, everything that happens in your life is designed for your Soul’s highest and greatest good, and for its evolution. This isn’t always easy to accept, but it’s true. We may think that we are ready to receive something, but we may not be receiving it in the time we’d like because we are not yet ready to receive it or there is a greater reason at play. For example, if I had gotten pregnant earlier this year, my baby would have suffered in utero while I was undergoing a nine-week personal storm (think Category 5 hurricane!) this summer. Although I was impatient and upset at the time, I now know that it was not the right time.
2. Collect mini-victories. Create a list of all the victories you HAVE achieved on your path toward your goal, no matter how small they may be. Then, whenever you start to feel your impatience creep up, read this list out loud to a trusted friend or colleague. Have them cheer you on!
3. STOP working on your goal. (Gasp!) Yes, you read that right. When you try to work – actually FORCE your goal to happen – you move out of flow. The best thing you can do to further your goals is a bit counter-intuitive. Stop working on your goals temporarily. Change your focus. Take a break and do something fun and uplifting. This will naturally move you into a better feeling state (and a higher vibration). As a result, you’ll come back to the task at hand with a fresh perspective and renewed, positive energy!
You have been working hard on accomplishing your goals. Don’t let your impatience derail you. Use these tips to help you change your perspective and get back on track. If you have additional tips, you’d like to share, email them to me.