Today, among the overloaded clutter of single parenting self help books, it’s delightful to discover one that not only presents exactly what the title offers, but exceeds all expectations with new insight, practical advice and success tactics to guide readers through the maze of post-divorce parenting that helps parents and children not just survive, but thrive. The book is The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive After Divorce by Carolyn Ellis.
Best-selling author, Carolyn Ellis, has pooled her academic background, broad based professional experience and personal involvement with divorce and single parenthood to create a definitive book every single-parent should have as a practical parenting guide. The book is based on in-depth research and observation of real life experiences from clients, single parents, seminar attendees and her own invaluable experience of raising three young children after divorce.
This is the guidebook she wished she’d had herself as she untiringly searched for an all-inclusive post divorce reference book that simply did not exist. What makes this volume so compelling is that she has made many of these same errors and shares them so others can easily understand and save themselves needless grief and anxiety.
Divorce is a major life transition that presents numerous challenges emotionally, physically, financially and socially; no one has the necessary training or is truly prepared for it, including the consequences, which includes single parenting. There are many myths that parenting will be the least of the concerns after a divorce, but in fact there are many aspects that can blindside even the most conscientious parents. Issues such as normally responsible parents putting their kids in the crossfire of their anger, conflicting parenting styles, transitioning worries, financial difficulties and mental and physical exhaustion can strain the best of parents and result in lack of confidence and making unavoidable mistakes.
Even as parents reach out to well-meaning family and friends or seek out the latest self help book, single parenting can be a struggle as parents desperately attempt to establish a safe, secure and “normal” environment for their children. The Seven Pitfalls provides an all-inclusive guide by describing things to avoid and is written from a positive, proactive attitude beginning with the THRIVE principles. These basic concepts configured in an acronym to convey a sense of inspiration, hope and success: Trust, Honesty, Responsibility, Integrity, Vision and Expression.
The book is organized around the Seven Common Pitfalls under separate chapter headings that describe the traps, how to recognize them, and how to avoid them: Not Having a Big Picture, Getting Hooked by Your Ex Spouse, Parenting from Guilt, Going for the Martyr Medal, Not Putting your Children First, Being Responsible for Your Children’s Relationship with Your Ex, and Living in Chaos.
Each chapter concludes with action steps and accountability checks to ensure the practical application of this important information. One of the most effective tools is the Action Tracker that helps keep track of accomplishments with a real measure of progress and growth.
If any of these issues or descriptions resonate with you then this is the book for you because it will assist you choose to thrive after divorce and bypass the behaviors that hold single parents back from raising healthy, self-confident, capable children. It’s good for you and great for your kids.