I often hear people tell me, “Yes. I want to be successful, but I do not want all the worry and responsibility that comes with it.” Or they say, “If I am successful, I will not have enough free time for myself or my family.” In the relationship area, the words are often, “I want a relationship, but I am afraid that I will be hurt.” These are negative beliefs that we have attached to success. They need not be attached, but as long as we believe that they are, we will avoid success.
This concept was not taught at the University where I earned my degree in Marriage, Family Therapy. Therefore, when I helped clients with the HART process (Holistic And Rapid Transformation), I was surprised to uncover this common, unconscious fear.
The way I see it, success is like a delicious red apple that we want very much to eat. But we don’t dare take a bite out of the apple if we imagine that there is a green worm in it-that is the scary consequence. We first have to remove the worm out of the apple, let go of the associated fear, so that we can take a bite of success.
An example of this phenomenon is Fred’s story. He was sabotaging his business, because he was unconsciously afraid that if he were successful he would not have enough time to spend with his children. That was the “worm” he was trying to avoid.
I guided Fred back to the time when he made that decision and he saw himself as a young boy. His father was very successful in his business and he rarely spent time with his children. I helped Fred realize that he was not his father and that he could be both successful in business and have time to spend with his children. He could have the apple without the “worm”.
Another example is John, a fifty-two-year-old successful manager, who wanted to become president of his company. When I asked him to close his eyes and imagine that he was in that position, he felt scared. John realized that unconsciously he was afraid of the responsibility that comes with that role. The part of John that was afraid was sabotaging him from moving on in his career.
I am convinced that one reason we struggle financially is because of our issues around money. I have discovered twenty fears of success that block us from prosperity. (Money = something negative.)
For example, Dave told me that even though he worked hard and tried to earn an abundance of money, he just was not making it. In his counseling session, Dave regressed back to the time when he was ten years old and in church with his parents. He vividly saw the priest standing at the pulpit with his hand raised in condemnation as he said, “Rich people are evil!” At that point Dave decided that if he were rich, he would be evil.
When Dave realized that money is only a piece of paper, an energy exchange, and that he could be rich and a good person, he began to accumulate the wealth he deserved and desired.
If you are not reaching your personal or professional goals, you may want to explore negative thoughts that may be blocking your success. Change them to positive ones, and then you can allow yourself the success you desire and deserve. Go for it!