As her 40th birthday approached Virginia felt panicked as time was running out for her to achieve her most important goals. What she really wanted more than anything else was to be happily married with a couple of children, live in a nice home of her own and to work part-time. The stark contrast between what she really wanted and the life she lived filled Virginia with feelings of despair that this was all her life would ever be.
Virginia often spent her spare time wondering where shed gone wrong, reading self help books, and trying to work out what belief was preventing her from living her dreams. This habit of focusing on what was missing in her life and trying to fix it was all that stood between Virginia and her dreams.
Successful people have one trait in common. They focus their attention (energy) on the outcome they desire. That means that they think about, talk about and act as if they will get what they want. They dont waste time looking to the past. They dont look for solutions. They dont ask Why me? They dont hope things will work out. They simply keep their focus on what they want and off what they dont want.
Very rarely can you just change a habit by just making the decision to do so. You need to have a new strategy to act on whenever you find yourself slipping back into your old habits. These strategies form the bridge from your old life to your new life.
When I went through a long period when my life was not working I decided I wanted to formulate a process that I could use to transform my life, then if it worked for me I would share it with others. By making that decision my focus shifted from what was wrong in my life to what I could do to change it.
If that was all I had done nothing would have changed much because my old habits would have been more entrenched than my new decision. The reason I was able to transform my life was because I created a number of strategies that kept my focus on what I wanted. Listed below are some of the strategies I put in place during that time and many I continue to use today.
1. I started studying books written by people I admire. I didnt read them just once, I studied them so I would be sure to remember what made them successful. I allocated an hour or two to this task each day.
2. I noticed how often I reacted and started making conscious choices.
3. I chose the character traits of the person I wanted to be and started looking for ways to act on my values regularly.
4. I listened to motivational cassettes every time I drove my car.
5. I started monitoring my thoughts and words and noticed how negative Id become. Whenever Id catch myself saying something negative Id stop and replace that phrase with something positive.
6. I noticed how often made a critical comment about others and stopped doing it.
7. I stopped talking about my problems and started acting like a successful person.
8. I started making notes of what worked for me and this became the foundation for the Ten Step Process I work with today.
9. I took responsibility by obtaining part-time work, this enabled me to stop thinking so much about how little money I had.
10. I went walking twice a day. During my morning walk I would reflect on what Id learnt and ask for guidance. During my afternoon walk I listened to songs of affirmation on a walkman.
11. I meditated every day. At the beginning of each meditation I set my intention for the way I wanted my day to be.
12. Whenever I found myself worrying or looking for solutions I gave thanks for all the wonderful things I already had. I also gave thanks for all the things that I knew would soon be a part of my life.
13. I often said out loud I choose statements. I would choose to have a great day, to be successful, to feel happy.
14. I kept my dreams to myself.
Remember the answers to your current problems do not lie in the past. The strategies that you act on today are what shape your future. If you need support ask for it. Using the services of a life coach, a friend or family member can make the journey from your old life to your new one a pleasant experience.