When a woman finds out her spouse is cheating, the question of what her response should be provokes divergent opinions.
The hard line feminist groups spell it loud and clear- pack your bags and leave the cheating man. He doesn’t deserve you. If he can do it now, he will always do it again.
But a more pragmatic school of thought canvassed for moderation. While this group believes that leaving the cheating boyfriend or husband is not out of the question, instead of being the first move, it should rather be the last resort.
Why? To this conservative feminist bloc, the offense is an affront on womanhood and the offending spouse needs to be told sternly. Left to them, they would go for his jugular and cut off his balls.
But the opinions of those who are for restraint made sense. You can’t leave a cheating husband straight away because you may need to get proof to that effect. And to get the cast iron evidence you require, you need to keep a close eye on what?s really going on. And what better way to do that than if the two of you are still living under the same roof?
If you put him out or leave, there goes your chance of ever having the proof you need. And you will be hard pressed to know what he is doing.
A marriage counselor in Iowa, Harold Sherman, supports this move. He believes that as long as you are still together you can keep your fingers on the pulse of his affair and gather some much needed facts. There is a lot you need to know about the situation, continuous Sherman, before you can make an intelligent decision about what to do.
So, continue monitoring your boyfriend’s or husband’s activities, attitudes, the frequency of his contact with his lover and any other details concerning his affair. If possible, write everything down in a journal.
But did it ever cross your mind that as long as he is still there and both of you are still living under the same roof; there is a chance you can both work things out?
Some people believe that a woman whose spouse is cheating on her should approach friends, colleagues, and relatives for advice. But almost immediately you hear a counter opinion saying that the whole world need not know about his infidelity.
While it is natural to want to confide in somebody about your husband?s affair or rally friends and family members to your side for support, you need to be very cautions about who you tell.
Remember, the female friend you confide in could turn out to be the “other woman”.
Rule: Make sure that you are confiding in someone you can trust. Confiding in a male friend about your husband’s affair could complicate the situation. A poll survey confirmed this- as over 75 percent of the respondents were overwhelmingly against it.
There are men out there who take advantage of women when they are in a vulnerable state. Telling your husband’s friend or family may not produce the results you want. They might not take your seriously, or they may lie and make excuses for him and even take his side, or warn him to cover his tracks.
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