The tradition of holding a baby shower has been with us for many years now and it is only right that we should want to celebrate the forthcoming birth of a new child and share in the joy and excitement of the mother-to-be. Indeed, baby showers have become so embedded in our tradition today that expectant mothers now expect to have a baby shower, especially if they are having their first baby.
One of the big questions which still remains largely unanswered however is whether the expectant mother should be involved in the planning for her baby shower or whether it should be kept a secret and come as a surprise. The simple truth of the matter however is that it very much depends on the mother-to-be and, while some expectant mothers will appreciate the surprise, others would be very unhappy to be left out of the planning.
A baby shower is normally hosted by somebody who is close to the mother-to-be and so any decision about keeping the event a secret is really best left to the host. A host will typically know the mother very well and so be able to judge whether or not involving her in the planning is the right way to go. It will also be important to take the expectant mother’s condition into account as some women simply breeze through pregnancy while others, particularly those who are experiencing a difficult or high-risk pregnancy, do not.
As a general rule, if you feel that the expectant mother can handle a surprise, then this is certainly a good way to go. After all, a baby shower is designed to be her special day and so she should not have to do any of the work but should simply be able to show up and be treated like a queen for the day. Remember too that it could well be the last time that she will be the center of attention for a while so she should be both surprised and spoilt! One final point to remember when deciding whether or not to hold the party as a surprise is that a surprise baby shower will be easier to pull off for somebody who is expecting their second or third child as they will be less likely to expect one.
One important point to remember if you are planning a surprise is to arrange for one of the invited guests to make plans to do something with the mother-to-be on the day of the shower so that you can be certain that you are not going to have a party without a guest of honor.
The host will of course need to send out the invitations and should also pass the guest list around to those people who are closest to the guest of honor to make certain that everybody who should be on the list is invited. It is also very important to make sure that you tell the guests that the shower is going to be a surprise so that they do not let the cat out of the bag.
There are of course occasions on which a surprise party might not be appropriate. For example, some women just do not like surprises and will not appreciate a surprise baby shower. Similarly, may be planning to invite so many guests that keeping the event a secret is going to be almost impossible. Whatever the reason, do not try to hold a surprise party if you feel that it is not going to work.
Perhaps the best reason however for not holding a surprise party is that the expectant mother can then be involved in the planning and get exactly the baby shower she wants. She can select the time and place for the event, draw up the guest list, decide upon a theme and decorations and plan the food and drink. The secret in this case however is to ensure that, while the mother-to-be can play a full role in all the planning, when it comes to the hard work then the host and friends should take over and the mother-to-be should not be climbing ladders to hang decorations or slaving over a hot stove. It is still her special day and she should be able to sit back and relax while here friends pamper her.