The first time I tried online dating I was terrified. The second time I was frustrated. The third time was better because I got the attention I wanted. This happened because I took the time to experiment with my profile, ask my friends what they were doing and read-up on the topic.
Don’t make the same mistakes I did, do yourself a favor.
Mistake Number One: Ignoring the Competition Weeks went by before I looked at another woman’s profile. It didn’t occur to me to compare myself to others and one-up my competition. If of women in my zip code have a picture of themselves at a baseball game, then shouldn’t I make myself stand out by posting a picture of myself playing the game?
Mistake Number Two: Never Change Your Photo I used the same picture the first two times I was on Match.com. Before I signed up the third time I browsed men between the ages of 26 and 35 in my zip code and ran across a guy I’d seen on my first-go-round. I looked at his profile and quickly changed my mind about writing him because his profile was exactly the same. I thought this meant he wasn’t into impressing anyone. This motivated me to pick a new photo for myself and change my profile a bit every couple of weeks.
Mistake Number Three: Uploading the Wrong Photo We’ve all been in relationships before. It’s also safe to assume we all have friends of the opposite sex who like to hang or hug on us. Avoid photos where someone is obviously cut out or way too friendly.
Pictures of you with babies and puppies are cheap. Nice try.
And then, of course, are the photos of you in your bathing suit. It’s great that you’re hot and want to tell someone, but keep it classy.
Mistake Number Four: Novel Writing To let him or her know you’re interested it’s ok to write a novel in your second, third or fourth e-mail, but the written portions of your e-mail should never be too long. The 580 words describing your ideal date is too much for our attention spans.
Mistake Number Five: Putting on a Broken Record An important aspect of your online profile is to make yourself sound unique-even if it is difficult to do. Phrases like “My friends say that I’m” or “I’m laid back” are clich. Instead, focus on your distinctive attributes like the fact that your eyes change from hazel to green depending on what you wear.
Mistake Number Six: Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve Anyone looking at your profile doesn’t care that you were just dumped or that you’ve been hurt before. Saying things like “I’m looking for Mr. Right after so many Mr. Wrongs” or “I’m looking to have fun after a horrible break-up” only scares away a lot of great suitors who are fearful of your baggage.
Mistake Number Seven: Forgetting to Get a Second Opinion It’s hard to write about yourself, let’s be honest. Asking a friend to write or review your profile is one of the best things you can do. If that’s not an option, for a small fee there are many services that will help you put together the written portions of your profile.
Online dating shouldn’t be hard and isn’t scary. Like all types of dating, with the right expectations and attitude-the outcome will only be positive.