Self Esteem – Why Do People Hate Me?

You’ve met these people before, we all have, maybe you have even fallen victim to this kind of thought or vocalization yourself a time or two. Something doesn’t go your way, you didn’t get the result you wanted. People you care about leave you out or forget to include you in a particular event. It could be the negative feelings you get from your co-workers, the lack of response you get from your neighbors. You are passed over for a promotion, your friend gets all the guys or girls. The list goes on and on, it is endless.

Why do people hate me?

Is it because I’m black, I’m white, I’m a minority, I’m a woman, I’m short, I’m fat, I’m gay, I’m poor, I’m uneducated, I’m a single parent, I’m pretty, I’m ugly, I’m too old, I’m too young? This list goes on and on, and is endless as well.

The simple truth is people don’t hate you, it is you who hates yourself. I hear people say “Oh, but you don’t know my circumstances.” I don’t need to know your circumstances however grim, honest and factual they may be.

As the saying goes you get back what you give or you reap what you sow, this all amounts to the Law of Attraction. A happy, healthy, content mind cannot attract hate, it is a universal impossibility. So the question is not, Why do people hate me? But now becomes “Why do I hate myself.”

The answer to this question doesn’t require that you lie upon a couch and give a minute by minute dissertation on your life story or go on a quest for why your mother didn’t love you enough. From this point forward you and only you are responsible for your life and how you feel about it’s unfoldment. However, it does require that you do some inside “work” on yourself, on your mental attitude. How you see yourself is a direct reflection on who and what will show up in your life.

Let’s try this simple exercise. Close your eyes and try to blank your mind for just a minute. Now think about someone you love very dearly, they mean a lot to you, remember the good times, the laughs, the hugs, the smiles, the talks. Now try to think “I absolutely hate this person,” you wish them harm, never want to speak or be around them again. It’s virtually impossible, probably makes you want to laugh at the mere thought. These two emotions cannot occupy the same space. A heart filled with love has no room for hate to seep in.

So now you say but these people treat my badly and I shouldn’t have to take it. And you are right you don’t have to take it. You can change your mental attitude and thereby the results that show up in your life. Start today, right now, do these 3 things:

1. Get clear about what you want, who you want to be in this world, what kind of life do you want. Write it out in as much detail as possible. Not just I want to be rich and happy, we all do. But what is your definition of rich and happy.

2. Make your statements of intention or affirmations. These are more or less summaries of step 1. For example: I am now surrounded by loving caring people or Everyone is always helpful and honest. Try to start with at least 20, use them daily.

3. Take time for yourself (quiet time, me time), believe in yourself, fill yourself up with good thoughts, love and kindness. Like an empty vase that you fill with water, once it is filled to the brim it will overflow and water will get on everything and go everywhere.

These three things will bring about pleasant changes. Negative people will disappear or move out of your life. You’ll find that you spend less and less time around those who would hurt or belittle you. It won’t matter what others are thinking because you will have enough love and kindness to give away.

So now the question is not even; Why do I hate myself? But how can I love more?

Copyright (c) 2007 Priscilla Parham