Let’s admit it. Not all of us possess the natural charm of Casablanca. While there are people out there who seem to have no trouble attracting the opposite sex and asking people out on dates, there are those who prefer to stay in the sidelines, wallow in cowardice, and be satisfied with just watching their romantic prospect from afar.
But this can’t go on forever and we know it. Eventually, we will have to face our insecurities and fears if we are truly bent on getting the man or woman of our dreams, or even if we want to meet new people at all.
Shyness is safe, but there is never any fun in monotony. You will have to break out of your shell eventually and find out that romantic persuasion is not so difficult after all.
So how does a non-romantic convince someone to go out with him or her? Simple. Don’t do it outwardly (or you could end up swallowing your own tongue).
Instead, try to make friends with the other person. If introducing yourself is not an option, then seek an opportunity wherein you and your prospect will have to interact. For instance, when it’s raining and you see him or her seeking shelter under a shed, join him or her and comment on the weather. This might be a lame example, of course, but you get the point.
If you already know each other, then you will only have to ask him or her out to get somewhere. If you have mustered enough courage but do not want to ask outright, you could send a short note, an email, or an SMS or chat message. Don’t say anything like ‘Hey do you want to go out on a date with me?’ if that’s really not your thing.
You could start by engaging in small talk about this nice restaurant or this interesting dish you’ve been raving about for the past weeks. If you’re convincing enough, it’s likely that the other person will feel intrigued by your topic and invite himself and herself to go with you next time. If this happens, you’re lucky you’re already off the hook. But if it doesn’t, well, you could offer to take him or her there the next time he or she has ‘nothing else to do’.
In short, convincing somebody to consider you for a friend or a romantic partner does not really require mush. Some people are more creative and conduct scavenger hunts with roses, but that’s only for the advanced and for those who are pretty sure the other person likes them too.
However, if you’re still on the ‘I don’t know’ stage, then it’s best to take it slow. Persuasion does not always mean that you should be in a hurry or coercive. And if it’s a romantic prospect you’re looking for, wouldn’t you want to start off on the right foot? Best of luck to you!