Remarrying Your Ex-Spouse

Remarrying the ex-spouse is quite a frequent occurrence even among the not-so-rich and famous. However, the success rate of such marriages has not been ascertained. But, one fails to comprehend, why people decide to remarry the same person, when the marital union was a failure the first time around.

Reasons for Marrying the Ex-Spouse

  • Any divorced person would admit of experiencing moments of weakness. And, at such moments, they feel that a little more effort on their part might have saved their marriage. It is at such times that thoughts of remarrying the ex-spouse occur.
  • The tough experience of facing life single-handed also makes them think that marital life was probably better. Such thoughts gain strength when they chance a meeting with the ex-partner at such tough times.
  • Some people have regular sex with their ex-spouse even after divorce. The continuation of the physical bond induces the false belief that differences between them no longer exist.
  • Many divorced people date others, and finally come to the conclusion that their ex-spouse was the best.

The decision to remarry the ex-spouse is undoubtedly a happy one for either of the partners. But remarriages might compound the pre-existing problems.

Difficulties in Remarrying the Ex-Spouse

  • Informing friends and family of the decision to remarry the ex-spouse is not so easy. The news would undoubtedly evoke shocked responses.
  • After remarriage, the stay together might be much more difficult than the first time. For the interim period of independence prior to remarriage might have altered the personality of either person. Both the spouses do not know how to relate to the changed personality of the other.
  • The family assets and valuables might have been divided the first time. Regrouping them and staying together evoke strongly unhappy memories of the previous split.
  • Remarrying the ex-spouse is difficult. But the difficulties are not serious enough to prove insurmountable. Life can be renewed with fresh enthusiasm and determination.

    However, couples retying the knot should take some necessary precautions. The safety net offered by these precautionary moves would enable them to concentrate on making their remarriage a success.

    Precautions

    • Remarriages should always be preceded by signing of the prenuptial agreement. This agreement is a necessity, especially if the first time marriage has ended due to financial problems.
    • Before the wedding, both the partners should amicably discuss their differences. The mistakes of the past must be frankly revealed and resolved to prevent a recurrence of the previous pitfalls. Mere superficial changes do not rake in positive results.

    As already mentioned, remarrying the ex-spouse might present some problems. Couples should make a determined effort of making a success of the remarriage.

    However, second-time marriages fail more frequently than the first. In the UK six out of ten second marriages fail.

    Failed Remarriages

    • Remarriages fail when promises are reneged. Both the spouses might have promised to rectify their behaviour that led to the past differences. Failure to do so results in the breaking up of the marital union. Majority of the second marriages fail for the very same reasons that caused a breakup of the first marriage.
    • Remarrying for the wrong reasons is another causative factor for the second divorce. If the couple had remarried for the sake of children, then making the marriage last is difficult.

    Successful Remarriage with the Ex-Spouse

    • Success rates of remarrying the ex-spouse are high when the couples successfully resolve their differences. They are mature enough to know that problems are part of life. Expecting a problem-free union can only diminish the chances of a successful remarriage.
    • Couples who are deeply in love would definitely enjoy marital bliss.

    Probability rates of remarrying the ex-spouse are more if the couple had an uncontested divorce. Legal battles fought during contested divorces diminish such chances.

    Some people have been lucky the second time around while others were not so lucky. Often, it is not a matter of luck but deep love and respect for one another that ensure the success of the marriage (first or second.)