Post-Divorce Survival Guide

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and this point requires no further elucidation. Therefore, women tend to be distressed and emotionally much more vulnerable than men. This can have an adverse effect on women’s physical health as well. It is important for every woman out there to brace herself because you will need to assure yourself that things can only get better from here onwards.

Impact of Divorce on Women

Divorce can change the lifestyle of a woman completely, especially if a woman was financially dependant on the husband during the marriage. While most women tend to receive regular maintenance amount from their husbands post divorce, it may not be enough to sustain yourself. Therefore, in all probability, you will have to take up a new job.

Now we all know how hard finding a new job can be. If you have the custody of your children as well you will have to balance your work life with your family life. This can be tough because a new job can be demanding. Divorce can emotionally drain you out completely. Most women tend to experience mood swings, pangs of loneliness, and frustration about their failed marriage. Some women also experience feelings of rejection, which can be very hard to deal with.

How to Survive the First Year after Divorce?

The first year after your divorce will be most challenging. However, it can also be most rewarding if you tune your attitude in such a way that you take this year off for self-introspection and self-pampering.

  • Pamper Yourself
  • Women tend to play the role of a caretaker for a major portion of their lives. Prior to marriage, they try to take care of their dads, and after marriage they take care of their husband and children. After divorce they may not have to play the role of the caretaker anymore if there are no children involved. Therefore, this is the best time to take care of yourself. Indulge in beauty treatments, massages, or trying new recipes.

  • Build Your Career
  • This can be the time to take that dream job you always wanted but never took up because of family responsibilities. Taking up a new job can make you feel as if you have started your life afresh. It is extremely important for you to start laying emphasis on your career because you need to sustain yourself financially.

  • Travel
  • You can travel to your dream destinations. Travelling can be a major stress-buster. A change of place, climate, people, and surroundings can be very good for achieving the mental peace that you may desire at this point in time.

  • Self-Introspection
  • While having fun and taking care of yourself forms an integral part of this new life, this is also the time to gain some insights into your behavioural patterns and relationship expectations. Writing a journal helps you become more aware of your inner feelings. Writing a journal may seem odd at first but once if you have not so before. However, once you get used to it, it will actually have a therapeutic effect.

  • Seek Counselling
  • If you feel that you are not able to analyse your innermost thoughts and behavioural patterns, you can seek professional help. Counselling will be most beneficial at this stage because not only will it help you with your healing process, but it will also make you more aware of the common mistakes that you may make in relationships. In addition, it will give you clear idea about your expectations from any relationship that you may have in the future as well.

Rebuilding Your Life after Divorce

If you are a single parent, this is bound to be a tough time for you. You will have to take care of the house, the finances, the bills, cook, help your children with the homework etc. In fact, the list can be never-ending.

While having your children around during this tough time may be an added responsibility, children have the unique ability to fill happiness into our lives. Therefore, try to spend more time with your children and be there for them because divorce is a tough time for children as well. You will have to learn to say no to your children because it is very easy to get manipulated.

This is also the time that you are most likely to experience financial insecurity. Therefore, it would be good idea to start saving a portion of your salary or allowances. You can try looking at secure investment strategies wherein your money can earn certain amount of interest on a regular basis. While this interest may not be a huge amount, it can contribute to being a regular source of income.

Try to spend more time with people who care about you. Secluding yourself may not be a very good idea. Friends and family who care about you can make a huge difference around this time. Therefore, do not hesitate to ask for their help and support.