Sometimes we hate what we used to love. We think that which we love is unworthy of our love because it has let us down greatly in some way or another. We feel like withdrawing all our love and give it to somewhere else that is more worthy to receive. It might be true that we’re in love with the wrong person, but it could also be true that we ourselves are not yet right to love that person. The negative situation we experience is meant to help us discover ourselves and what loving unconditionally really means.
Hate is an emotion that is meant to be used as an aggressive defense against any form of evil. It is a destructive force against anything that is destructive towards you. When you feel hate or anger, it just means that someone is doing something that hurts you. It is a form of self love that seeks to protect you and severe anything that isn’t beneficial for you. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel because your emotions serve as a feedback and motivating force to move towards that which is good in life.
It is when you understand what your emotions are telling you, and the reason why you feel that way, that enables you to truly resolve everything in your inner world. The reason why you feel hate and anger is because the person is doing something that hurts you. Your love for yourself repels against such an act. You feel unacknowledged, unappreciated or somehow mistreated in one way or another by the other person. Therefore you seek to redress the wrong or undeserved suffering caused by that person.
You may think that the person is no longer right for you to love or relate with, and you are right coming from the level of consciousness where you are at. But when you discover something beyond that, you may turn your entire perspective around and feel totally different. You see, the reason why you feel unacknowledged is because you need acknowledgement from that person. The reason why you feel unappreciated is because you need appreciation from that person. You need something that is lacking.
You feel mistreated because you require that person to treat you in a certain way. It is when that person isn’t being or doing what you expect, that you feel disappointed in loving him or her. You wonder why should you continue being so good and nice to that person when you are being treated so unfairly in return. What you may not realize is how conditional your love for that person really is. You have so many conditions and requirements on what that person should be or do in order for you to love him or her.
Sometimes, the only way to resolve a friendship or relationship problem is to bring it to an end. When we are in a friendship or relationship, we tend to have an expectation of mutual appreciation, acknowledgment and love expressions. That is the way a normal friendship is supposed to be right? Yes, that’s how it is supposed to be. But a true friendship does not have any suppositions or expectations of what the friendship should be like. True friendship can exist even when the parties are not normal friends.
What happens when the relationship or friendship with the person has ended in the normal sense? There is no longer an expectation or need for that person to give you acknowledgment, appreciation or anything for that matter. The same goes for you as well. You no longer need to give that person anything at all. But now you are in a space where if you feel love, appreciation and kindness for that person, you can still give it if you wish. You can now give out of a heart that is totally free and unconditional.
That is the irony of a true friendship that exists without a friendship in the normal sense of the word. You can’t feel unappreciated when you do not need appreciation. You can’t feel unacknowledged when you do not need acknowledgement. You can’t be mistreated when you do not need the person to treat you in a certain way. Most of all, you can’t be hurt when there’s nothing the person can do to make you feel hurt. Because now that person can’t take anything from you or give you what you already have.
When you feel true love for another, the love you have is not your own, but it is God expressing through you. You may feel anger, hurt and resentment because of your expectation of how that person should treat you. But when all those expectations and requirements are gone, what is left is the pure unconditional love that is always present beneath it all. Everything else is just meant for you to discover where you are being conditional and limited in your heart. But when you let go, you can love totally.
You don’t need to end the friendship or relationship in the literal sense, but you just need to imagine what’s it like being a true friend or being loving when the friendship or relationship isn’t required. True love is free without needing anything in return. To truly love is to love unconditionally, without judgment of that which you love. There is no fear in perfect love. Whoever that fears is not yet made perfect in love. When you love perfectly, you do not judge yourself or the other because you accept both completely.
Love yourself for all that you are because you are worth it. From the place of complete self love and self acceptance, you are able to love another with an unconditional heart. Because you do not need anything back. Therefore you can’t be hurt at all. You can love without fear. Remember the saying, “Work like you don’t need the money, dance like no one’s watching and love like you’ve never been hurt before”. Love like you’ve never been hurt before. It is the pure, fearless and unconditional giving of yourself.