While there are several definitions NLP or other philosophy would give to the word “leader”, you need to ask yourself the following questions if you want to become a good leader: What makes a leader a good leader? What qualifies a person to lead? What enables a person to exercise persuasion and influence with others? If a company wants leaders who lead from the company vision, what will be the prerequisites of leadership?
Write down these questions and the possible answers you can come up with. I’d like to suggest 3 qualities that you need to have to create win-win situations, lead from the heart and influence people with integrity.
1. Authenticity: This is the degree to which you are true to your own personality, spirit, or character, in spite of the pressures. It is acting and being from one’s true self without any masks or personas. So two simple questions to ask yourself: first, “Do I wear any mask when I’m at work?” People wear masks for 2 main reasons: to protect themselves or to become someone they are not in a day-to-day life. People wear masks all the time: at church, in the car, in social meetings. If you think you wear masks, ask yourself: what am I afraid of? The next question is “On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest, how true am I when I deal with people I work with?”
2. Integrity: When you act with integrity, you act consistently through principles. You act and react according to your own criteria, or principles, and not according to your emotions alone. You can say you have integrity when everything you do and believe is based on the same core set of values. While those values may change, it is their consistency with each other and with your actions that determine your integrity. Simply put, it is being as good as your word, impeccably honest and fair-minded. The next question is “On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest, how honest am I when I deal with people I work with?”
3. Congruency: Congruency is perceived by others as sincerity or certainty. When you are congruent, internally and externally, you say what you mean, you walk your talk. An alternative definition of congruence in the work of Virginia Satir, family therapist and one of the sources of NLP, is the balance between self, other and the context you’re in. In other words, congruency is applying your principles to yourself so that you can say that you walk the talk.
Authenticity, integrity and congruency are essential qualities of a good leader. The next question is “On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest, how true, honest and congruent am I when I deal with people I work with?” and act accordingly.