Lots of people spent years trying to become confident without succeeding.
When those people begin the quest they usually start by looking for online tips that can help them become confident quickly and this is usually what they come across:
Say “I like myself” everyday out loud Not knowing the fact that the subconscious mind refuses to accept beliefs before solid proofs are provided. Your subconscious will respond to this message saying, “Really, why do you feel worthless then if you like yourself?”
Accept yourself: Not knowing the fact that the subconscious mind cant accept something it doesnt like unless it cant be changed. You can accept the death of a close relative but even if you used all the known techniques in the world you won’t convince your subconscious mind to accept something you don’t like about yourself that can be changed
Repeat affirmations: Not knowing that saying I am confident while you are not makes the subconscious mind believe that you are fooling it and thus resulting in bad emotions such as shame. A recent research has proven that people who repeat affirmations that are against their beliefs about themselves feel down, guilty and less confident
How to really become self confident?
Self confidence is built, it cant be created by affirmations nor it can be acquired over night.
Self confidence is all about trusting your skills and convincing your subconscious mind that you are really worthy.
If you lack certain skills then are likely to feel shaky and anxious during the situations that require these skills. If you developed the skills that you lack and started using them successfully your subconscious mind will start to trust you and you will start to feel confident.
Think of the subconscious mind as someone standing aside and judging your actions, if he saw he performing well he wont make you feel anxious the next time he sees you going through the same situation.
Now what if that person standing aside saw you in the morning saying I like myself and in the evening shaking in front of a crowd? Wont he make you feel guilty and ashamed?
Step by step guide to becoming truly confident
Step one, determine the problematic area: Contrary to common beliefs self confidence not a general trait but each one of us has different levels of confidence in different areas of his life. While you might be very confident in browsing the internet you might fear public speaking
Step two, Find the missing skills: The second step you should do is figuring out the missing skills that are preventing you from feeling confident in a certain area. Once you find these skills you must develop them.
Step three, wait until the subconscious mind notices: When you develop these missing skills you wont feel confident right away but instead your subconscious mind has to watch you performing well many times before it can trust you.
In short, dont rush behind get confident overnight tricks because they never work. Instead focus on developing your missing skills, building trust in yourself and you will become really confident.