Is It a “Should” or Is It a “WOW?”

Where are you trying to make something work that doesn’t work? You might recognize it by how much time you spend looking at it, this way and that way, and then this way and that way again – trying to see something that isn’t there, feel something that you want to feel….

In the late fall, I was in Bloomingdale’s to have a repair made on a coat I had purchased. As I was waiting for an assistant I was struck by a lovely woman trying on an exquisite shearling coat with fur at the sleeves and collar – a perfect coat for the coming winter.

It was perfect for the coming winter, but what about for her?

Her expression was one of concern as she preened hesitantly in front of the assistant and the mirror at the same time. She fingered where the coat came together in the front. She checked upon checking the amount of room in the chest area, questioned upon question how it might look with a blazer or heavy sweater underneath, smoothing it down her sides, plumping up the collar…

The sales assistant left to do something else and the woman in the coat, still positioning herself in the mirror, looked at me. “Since you don’t work here I want to get your opinion. What do you think of this coat?” she said viewing herself. I looked at the coat and her in the coat and said what was obvious to me. “It’s a beautiful coat but it’s not the best color for you.”

She questioned me a couple of times, trying to find a way to make me see it differently. I left her saying, “And what’s most important is whether or not you love it and feel great in it.”

She spent a great deal more time with the sales assistant when she returned and finally purchased the coat. She wasn’t smiling when she left.

The coat was perfect for the winter but it wasn’t perfect for her. She knew it on some level but wanted to make it be perfect for whatever reason.

Did I ever relate to that scene? It was an “aha” moment that really landed.

I expect the woman with the shearling coat will wear it once or twice, maybe a few times more, but she will never feel just right when she does and it will eventually end up forgotten in the back of her closet.

Where in your business – or other area of your life – are you trying to make something work that doesn’t? You’ll recognize it because it doesn’t light you up, it’s hard work, doesn’t unfold easily and because it’s effortful and doesn’t really go anywhere.

It is likely a “should.” Or somebody else’s great idea or program. The “shoulds” are externally driven. They come from the outside, not our own truth and knowing.

Or we see other people doing things with so much heart and passion and thriving, and we want that. Just like we see a beautiful winter coat on the first cold day of fall and we want it!

We try to make it fit for us but what we really want is to be engaged in something that comes from our heart, about which we are passionate. In our hearts we want to thrive, not simply survive.

Heart and passion are requirements of thriving. We can be passionate wearing something exquisite in which we feel rich and warm and beautiful in the coldest days of winter – if that something is right for us.

The simple and powerful question is, “Is it right for me?” I like to use the “WOW” factor – “Is it a “WOW?”

If you need to convince yourself or be convinced by others, it’s likely not right for you. On an essential level, something either works or it doesn’t. Make a habit of checking inside, with you, and follow your inner knowing to the best of your ability.

Getting input from others can help you see things and get clear when you have blinders on that we all sometimes do. But when it comes to making a decision, for it to be powerful and empowering, it has to be true for you.

Here’s a simple exercise for you:

• Take a few moments and think about three things in your business or in other areas of your life where there is a rub, hesitation or uncertainty and write them down.
• Ask yourself of each of them, “Is this right for ME?” You know already.
• If yes, give yourself over to it wholeheartedly. If no, let it go. Ultimately it’s as simple as that.

You’ve just stepped into your greatness by trusting your inner knowing and acting on its message. Now you can freely move forward in your life.

Step into your greatness! It’s the most natural thing you’ll ever do and it always works!