If someone has an emotional affair with someone else and their spouse feels shut out or left behind, they have cheated against their spouse. In plain simple language? yes, it is infidelity.
But what about the situation when their spouse has emotionally left them years before? Can it still be considered cheating if the aggrieved partner seeks companionship, albeit without sex, with another man or woman?
That is a tough one. But the question still has to be answered.
In my view, it is also infidelity. Only this… the cheating act goes both ways. Always, however, this is not good for relationships or marriages if partners adopt the “tit for tat” approach.
Indeed, it is considered a great sin against the marriage if neither drifting partner hasn’t spoken or asked for forgiveness.
A school of thought says when someone has the need for another partner because their spouse is no longer responsive to their needs, or is emotionally shutdown and refuses to come back, then that person has to follow their heart.
The question many people wonder about is why some people will continue to have emotional affair but still want to keep their marriage?
One school of thought seems to have anticipated this. Hear its response: they commit a deep and unyielding wound against themselves, God, their spouse, children and the other person.
Eventually, as the pressure becomes too much from lying and trying to be two people at the same time, it will drive them crazy.
At a certain point, this person?s psyche will break down. And what ensues is the normal predictable cycle of alcohol, drug or other self destructive behaviors.
Some release from themselves in the manner of mental breakdown in order to numb their pain. In essence, they train their minds not to feel anyone else other than themselves deep inside. Do you think this is smart? I wonder.
It is a fact that in almost every marriage, one or both partners will feel abandoned at some point as the other seeks new interests.
Because the world of love has incredible vistas to discover, each partner needs to be interested in all that the other partner seeks.
But if one feels complacent about their spouses? interest (it is only indirectly involved via small talk), then the ground is set for an upheaval.
What to do if faced with such a dilemma?
Our purist school of though is still very much around regarding how to cope and bring your marriage back to how it was before your partner had an emotional affair. And its advice is interesting.
It says if ever you need more emotional intimacy with your spouse, take their hands and hold them tightly. Look them deeply in their eyes and tell them that you need them by your side in all that you do.
Tell them that their presence in your life really matters. Allow them to feel that you feel torn because of the emotional drift.
Be direct and be firm. Tell them that you need them with all your heart. It will make a really big difference.
Your loving marriage will be blessed and endowed with all the riches of God’s love.
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