When you try to make conversation or small talk with other people, do you find that you put yourself down a lot? Does your mind quickly fill with negative thoughts about yourself?
Here are several ways you can use to start filling your mind with positive thoughts about yourself instead of negative thoughts when you are having a conversation.
When you catch yourself saying negative thoughts, watch out for statements where you say that you always do something wrong. This is a very extreme and negative statement to make about yourself. Instead of saying that you always do things the wrong way or the stupid way, phrase your remarks to yourself in a more neutral or more positive manner.
For example, tell yourself, Sometimes I say things that are not exactly perfect, but so what? Nobody is perfect all the time. I am doing my best, and what I am saying is good enough for now.
You can also make an inventory of all your positive qualities and write them down. Look often at your list. Give yourself credit for all your good qualities and give yourself the respect you deserve for trying to make progress in your life.
Another way to boost your conversation confidence is to actively use the techniques of positive visualization and affirmations.
What are affirmations? Affirmations use words to affirm something about yourself that you would like to be true, even though at the present time you dont feel fully confident that it is true.
For example, you could tell yourself, I grow more confident about my conversation skills every day. Positive affirmations become more powerful when you repeat them frequently. Remember, in many cases you have already repeated a negative statement to yourself hundreds of times. It may take thousands of times of repeating a positive affirmation before you start to believe it.
You can try using written affirmations as well as spoken affirmations. There are many important points to remember about using affirmations effectively. An affirmation technique that works well for one person may not work well for another. Feel free to try many ways of using positive affirmations to overcome the negative affirmations you have used in the past.
You may also try using various visualization techniques to increase your comfort level in making conversation. Visualize yourself speaking happily and in a relaxed manner to other people. Feel the happy emotion you would feel during a friendly conversation with another person.
If you happen to be very critical of yourself, you can learn to become kind to yourself instead. It is only when you show true kindness and understanding towards yourself that you will make true progress. You need to be kind to yourself to create true conversation confidence.
A positive attitude towards yourself is the first step to conversation success.