There are many places in which one can seek assistance to change, once you have made a commitment to yourself to make that change. No-one could help very much in the earlier stages of the process of change; that of making up your mind. Only you can make your decisions; no-one else can make your decisions for you, although it is often tempting to imagine that they could.
You often hear people say that another person controls them, and this may very well be the case, but they are only being controlled because they allow themselves to be controlled in this way. They have decided to let someone else control them, for whatever reason. They have chosen, either consciously or subconsciously, to give their own power to somebody else.
Human beings can give their power to someone else for a variety of reasons. It is frequently the case that one will seek another’s assistance when trying to make a difficult decision. They simply do not want to have to make that decision themselves. A wise assistant will not be drawn into the trap of attempting to make that decision for you. Rather, they will ask questions to help you to explore your own feelings more fully and will try to help you to see every opportunity available to you.
Everyone knows of someone who got drawn into an argument between a couple and was later accused of taking sides. Similarly we all know of someone who did take sides when a couple split up, only to be persona non gratis when they got back together again. The fact is that even if you meant well when trying to help someone else to make a decision, they could very well end up blaming you for their decision. They do not set out with that intention, but it is a likely conclusion.
It can be very tempting as well to help someone to do something. To lend a helping hand makes you feel good. But there are many times when to help in this way does not help the other person in the long term. Every parent experiences this conundrum as they have to bite their tongue, step back and allow their children to learn through making their own mistakes. You cannot make someone else do something; you cannot make someone else succeed.
More often than not the best help you can give someone is to let them decide if they want to succeed or if they want to change. It can be hard to take that step back, to not lend that helping hand, particularly when you are being asked for help, and more so if it is a person whom you care for dearly. What you can do is ask questions designed to get that person to see things from every angle and therefore help them get into a position whereby they can make an informed choice about what they want to do. Another thing which you can do is to do what you can to help build that persons confidence and self belief as this is providing a solid foundation upon which to make good choices.
Every hypnotherapist will tell you that a large number of their clients knock upon their door in the hope that you can make their decisions for them or make their changes for them. A hypnotherapist, or any other therapist for that matter, cannot do this, and would not attempt to do so. Rather, your hypnotherapist will help you to think about things in a more positive way and ultimately feel that you can do whatever it is that you want to do.
A hypnotherapist can help you to relax and to access the sometimes hidden powers of our subconscious mind. When in hypnosis you have access to your subconscious mind, and this state of mind is naturally conducive to conflict resolution. Bear in mind, if you think you want to do something, but haven’t yet gotten around to doing it, this is a clear indication of some type of conflict. Your subconscious mind is also the more creative part of your mind and so you can more easily see different options and more vividly imagine different outcomes.
Hypnosis is very helpful indeed when you are in the process of considering change. You can even learn to use hypnosis at home with the help of a hypnosis download. It is easy and completely natural.
It is always worth bearing in mind that what somebody does speaks more loudly than what somebody says. To make a decision and take no accompanying action merely points to the fact that there was really no decision made at all. A true decision is always accompanied by appropriate action.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3s for change and well-being.