How To Write A Eulogy: Tips and Guide Questions

Eulogies are important part of funerals. A eulogy the most personal and emotional moment when bereaved family and friends are given the chance to reminisce lovingly about the life of the beloved dead to other people. Eulogy is the chance for loved ones to speak proudly of the deceased’s works, causes in which he/she believed, anecdotes that may sometimes bring sad humor to the audience, and bring the deceased to life for a few moments in the hearts of the speaker and the audience.

Unfortunately, not everyone who needs to give a eulogy has a knack for writing. And oftentimes, when emotions overwhelm us, even the best writers are left with nothing to write about the deceased in their eulogy!

Here are some guide questions that will help you write your eulogy. All you have to do is answer these questions and pull the whole eulogy together with your own words by filling in the gaps between these questions so that each sentence will lead to the next. Of course, there is no need to answer all these questions. These are just guide questions to help you sift through what you want to include in your eulogy. You may also add other important points in your eulogy that may not be found in this list of guide questions. These guide questions, however, are already comprehensive by themselves, and aims to provide the basic structure for your eulogy.

1. What is the mood or tone of your eulogy? Your eulogy’s mood or emotional tone may be humorous or serious. Decide on a tone that is appropriate for the personality of the deceased in your eulogy.
2. What do you want to say or mention about the deceased in the eulogy? What role of the deceased do you want to highlight in your eulogy? (ie, as a parent, employer/employee, as a grandparent, as a child, as a colleague, as a neighbor). Focus on a particular role of the deceased when writing a eulogy so that your eulogy will have a unified theme. Focusing on a particular role when writing an eulogy will also help you personalize the eulogy more rather than spreading yourself too thin on many roles and risk becoming too impersonal already.
3. What specific character trait, attitude or special talent of the deceased set him apart from all the others of the same role?
4. Give anecdotes and instances that support your answer in question #3. In this part, it is up to the eulogy writer’s creative ability to think of possible details to include and personalize the eulogy more, like the following:
4.1. Here, if the deceased was fond of poetry, you may share his favorite poem in your eulogy.
4.2. If the deceased was fond of telling stories, you may mention a story he used to tell in your eulogy.
4.3. If the deceased was a volunteer for a cause, you may mention the cause in your eulogy.
5. How is the deceased related to you personally?
6. How has the deceased touched your life personally? Here, if you are writing an eulogy for a parent who happens to be your neighbor, mention shortly how the deceased was as a neighbor.
7. What can you not forget about the deceased? Give specific examples in your eulogy.
8. How do you think the deceased would like to be called or remembered? Here, you may want to mention or recount personal conversations with the deceased that led you to think how he/she would want to be remembered by in your eulogy.
9. What do you want to say to the deceased person. This part of the eulogy may be written by the eulogy writer in the second person point of view as compared to the question #s 1-8 which are written in third person point of view.