Successful dating is all about confidence; confidence in how you look but more importantly confidence in who you are. You have to feel that you are “worth it” and that you have “value”. If you do not have this sense of inner confidence or inner belief, your own emotions will sabotage your attempts at dating.
Self sabotage isn’t a new concept. It is something that many humans are extremely good at. We can stop ourselves from achieving our hearts desire in so very many different ways. A lack of dating confidence may cause one to act in extremely different ways.
Some people will not even make an attempt to date. This person may have a tendency to justify their position by reiterating that they are “happier single” or that they “don’t like dating” and so on. This person appears to be confident and totally in control, sophisticated and worldly wise. But underneath they will probably admit that their “I don’t care” attitude to dating is more there as a matter of self protection than due to a real desire to be alone. If you consider that a human beings primary instinct is survival of their line, then one knows that to be single is diametrically opposed to this purpose.
In this case the self-sabotage is presented as a form of self-preservation. The belief of “If I don’t try I cannot get hurt” does ultimately hurt far more in the long run. To rebuild dating confidence sometimes one has to look at why confidence was lost and seek ways in which to rebuild confidence and learn new dating techniques.
Another form of self sabotage could just as easily be to react in a way which presents an exterior of being a victim. In this case, the person doesn’t appear to have stopped trying; rather, they often will be observed actively seeking dates and opportunities to date, but nothing seems to work out. Their own inner beliefs of “nothing ever works for me” or “I don’t really deserve to be happy” or whatever else are transmitted into the dating situations subconsciously and a self-fulfilling prophesy ensues.
These are clearly extreme examples of why perhaps dating confidence can be elusive to some and not to others. There are many different reasons why dating confidence can be lost. For a lot of people it is merely a lack of practice; they have been in a long terms relationship which has ended and are simply feeling rather rusty when faced with flirting once again. Even this however may end up sabotaging your attempts at feeling attractive and enjoying the dating game. Without practice in anything in life, the results will not normally be as good as they would have been with adequate rehearsal.
Rehearsal is the key to success in almost everything in life. The great news is that this rehearsal may not have to be real live practice; it could instead be carried out in ones imagination. Whatever you imagine you create. In the examples of self-sabotage noted earlier, the imagination is what triggered the chain of events which led to the lonely result experienced. If you imagine being rejected, you will ensure that rejection does take place.
This is why confidence lies at the heart of successful dating and overcoming the various forms of self sabotage which abound in dating techniques. If you don’t think you are a good conversationalist this creates a barrier to dating. If you do not consider yourself attractive or “worthy” this again puts a rather large spanner in the works.
Dating confidence is actually easy to acquire simply by learning how to rehearse the correct things in your imagination. Correct mental rehearsal is the key to success and you can learn to do this with the help of hypnosis.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads designed to provide you with dating confidence.