So you want a good relationship huh? You want your girl to like sex more? You want her to understand you better? Or perhaps one of the 1000 other little items that bug guys in relationships?
Well, if you want a better relationship – here is the first rule.
Relationships are created and take continual active work to improve them. A relationship either gets better or worse, there is no static state in relationships – they either get better or worse.
If you create them, they get better. If you stop creating them, they get worse. It’s that simple. And it applies to ALL relationships- work, girlfriend, kids, buddies.
Now my observation is that MOST women already know this and MOST men either DON’T know it, or if they do, they don’t practice it.
So then exactly WHAT are we talking about when we talk about RELATIONSHIPS and CREATE.
Well first of all, let’s make a distinction between casual social relationships and working productive relationships.
“A relationship exists with anyone that you co-act with towards a specific goal. ”
If that “goal” is social, then of course anyone you hang with to have fun or entertainment or whatever with– you are relating to.
If that ‘goal” is business, then anyone you are co-acting with to get a paycheck or to make money, or whatever you do, is in a relationship with you. And of course that “teacher” you aren’t the least bit interested in and who likewise is not interested in you is co-acting with you towards giving you a grade for the course – which is both your purpose and his.
If you are not working with someone towards some purpose – be it social (talking, having fun) familial (co-mingling finances, sexual fun, raising children) or business (getting paid for the work you do or products or services that you produce.) you are NOT in a relationship with that person.
So when you first meet a girl and are attracted to her – you are trying to establish a relationship – whether it is just for a fling (sexual fun) ongoing friendship only (companionship and sexual fun) or something more serious – like all of the above plus living together and sharing finances and raising children together.
You are hoping she will be attracted to you too, and then that will lead to hanging out fun and in most cases what you really want and need from a woman– sexual fun. And if this happens you have a sexual relationship.
So what is CREATING a relationship? CREATING a relationship is doing those things which increase attraction (both physical and mental/spiritual), communication, understanding, mutual survival, agreements between you, and the number and or quality of the products you produce together.
SO Let’s translate this into actions you can do.
Well, you probably already know how to CREATE a relationship. Most guys do it when they are romancing the girl to get her. They bring her flowers, open the door for her, assure her she looks nice (when she is worried about it), listen to her gossip even though it bores them out of their mind. The go to the mall with her when they really hate shopping. They go to chic movies with her now and again. GET IT GUYS – you know what I am talking about – CREATING is ALL those things you do to GET THE GIRL!
Now the problem is most guys do all kinds of things they DON’T like just to get the girl, so after they get her and feel comfortable in their position – THEY STOP doing all those things that they don’t like.
PROBLEM IS GUYS, that is the death toll for the relationship.
WHATEVER you did to GET THE GIRL you have to do MORE OF IT, more frequently, and in new and better ways to CREATE the relationship and KEEP her.
SO, if you went dancing with the girl once a week when you were courting her (and she loved it) continue to go dancing with her once a week when you are married, even when you have children – hire a baby sitter. Romance your wife. But you may need to vary it – dance with her after a romantic dinner at home. Take her to new and exciting dance places. Take dance lessons with her. Get the idea.
There are probably dozens of little things (or big things) like this you did to get her. CONTINUE to do them. Do them better. Find new ways of doing them. And find new ways to attract her. You are going to have to do this continuously, and if you want to keep her for the rest of your life, then you are going to have to do this for the rest of your life.
ATTRACTION is a physical energy flow. It is not something that someone has forever – just because they were attracted to you on one or several occasions, or even long periods of time. ATTRACTION has to be continuously created. To put it simply, Whatever you did to ATTRACT the girl in the first place (including seemingly negative things like being aloof and “hard to get” if that is what you did), you have to continue to do that to CREATE a relationship. If you continuously attract the girl you are in a relationship with, the relationship will grow, get closer, be more fun and more productive. And Oh yeah, she’ll want sex just as much as you do (if not more)
Now this is a simple description of the process. This simple explanation will help some of you, but others will need a lot more details and examples to handle complex situations. There is a lot more I can tell you about this subject but it would take pages and pages and pages.