The other day I was delivering some coaching skills training for a company when a delegate asked me how she should coach the person who is an introvert and has little to say.
This is the type of person when you start your coaching session by saying “How is everything going?” they just reply with “OK” and then the tumbleweed makes its way across the floor!
Overall, during a coaching session the coach should be doing around 30% of the talking and the coachee should be talking around 70% of the time.
This is a challenge when you talk to someone who either does not have a lot to say or who is naturally shy.
This is what I recommend:
After you get the normal “OK” response ask this:
“On a scale of 0-10, with 10 being absolutely perfect and 0 being the pits, where would you currently rate yourself?”
If the coachee responds with a “7” that must mean that to have rated themselves a “7” they must be comparing themselves to what a “10” looks like.
So the next response and question to ask is:
“A rating of 7? That’s great. What would a 10 look like to you?”
Let them explain this and probe a little deeper.
What you are doing here is stimulating a conversation by using an alternative method other than just saying “What is going good right now?”
To someone who is naturally shy you are not going to get a lot out of them by asking this question.
Then, the next steps would be to ask:
“So you have described a 10. And you rate yourself a 7. What do you need to do to bridge the gap?”
I hope you can see how powerful this method is?
And you can use it on all types of people not just the shy ones – I use it all of the time!