Romantic, it’s a word that is thrown around a lot. It can be intimidating to some, full of mystery to others or downright baffling to the rest of us. What are the expectations of being romantic? Where and how does it fit into your relationship?
Let’s start by saying that romance can and should be a vibrant, ongoing part of every relationship. Think of romance as a lifetime, life-style choice.
The usual thought regarding romance is that it is special, but primarily short-lived moments of sweet connection at the beginning of the relationship. After a few months, at best, these stimulating experiences are expected to fade.
Why its important-understanding its significance When we are first connecting with a new love, each moment spent together is full of new discoveries. We marvel at the delightful ways they engage us, we cling to their words, are intrigued by who they are and what makes them so very special. We want to know and understand the nuances of this person we want to be close, feel connected, touch and be touched. It’s a heart-pounding, vibrant, energizing experience of love and devotion.
This is when we are building a foundation, a platform from which to strengthen and grow the love and passion. Each encounter has us anticipating a new sensation, deeper appreciation and special moments.
Romance is an experience filled with pleasure, joy and delight. It’s those wonderfully intense feelings and emotions that bring two people closer in their search to understand how to be with each other. You go through this experience in a most natural way, not consciously
What does it take? How is romance displayed? What type of behaviour makes us romantic? Being romantic is a mindset, a choice, a philosophy based on a desire to sustain and deepen your relationship. There are many stages, but the foundation, based on what you value and treasure in your relationship remains unchanging.
o Pay close attention. There is nothing more appreciated than someone noticing details about what you say and do. It says, “I’m interested and want to know more about you everyday”. Those details you pick up will give you the ideas when you’re searching for special ways to say “I love you”.
o Be expressive. That means communicating what you feel about your relationship and why that person is so special. Communication can take many different forms, verbal and non-verbal, keeping a constant flow and building a stronger understanding of what the other needs and desires.
o Create special moments. Even the smallest gesture or activity will result in appreciation. Looking for ways to confirm what you know and feel will refresh and renew who you are as a couple.
o A generous, open spirit. Romance is giving with a free open heart, without expecting reciprocation. You simply know that the act will please your sweetheart and that, in itself, is enough.
o Create rituals. There are sometimes small things that the two of you do together on a regular basis. Most of the time it’s a daily or weekly gesture or activity, like kissing before you go to bed or having a cup of morning coffee together.
o Be loving. If this person is the best thing that has ever happened to you, then you need to consistently let them know that by being affectionate, sweet, warm and kind. Conscious, deliberate actions reaffirm that person to be most special.
o Be curious. It very easy to assume that you know everything about your sweetheart after a certain length of time and lose your natural curiosity. Always displaying a willingness to find out more about your partner will open many doors to discover the many layers of their character and personality. Learn what makes your sweetheart happy and do it.
Realizing that you have a choice in how your journey of romance continues, can bring a renewed sense of purpose and accountability. Understanding that you are instrumental in determining how vibrant your romantic life can be is very empowering. Acknowledging that the romance does not have to die, but can be a constant force of stimulation, renewal and pleasure is operating from a point of strength. Romance can play a significant part of mature, long-lasting love.
What we need to understand is that the intensity and maybe even the frequency of the encounters may change, but the fundamental nature of how we are experiencing each other remains intact. Your romantic gestures and interactions can be the bonding factor that maintains the energy and reaffirms the love to sustain your relationship.