Are you Wounded?
Have you ever tried to put some water on a fresh wound? If you have, you must have felt some pain. Water, which can never harm you if you were not injured, has just made you feel some pain when it touched your wound, simply because when we develop a wound we tend to become over sensitive to factors that didn’t bother us before.
The same goes for emotional wounds: What if you have some emotional wounds that are making you over-sensitive to factors that other people dont even notice? All of these small things that are bothering you may be harmless on their own, but they hurt you because they touch your wounds just like the water did.
Emotional Wounds and Emotional Pain
Why do you think you felt that bad when they didnt call you? Is it because they are bad people? And why wasn’t your friend, whom they also didn’t call, bothered the way you are? It’s because he is not wounded. Your wound in this case may be social approval; you may have been wounded before by people who didnt approve of you and so whenever someone ignores you again it hurts, not because it should hurt, but because it touched your wound and reminded you of the past rejection.
How many times do you find a girl asking her friends for reassurance of her good looks just after breaking up? Why did she feel pain? Did she love him that much? No, it’s just that she was wounded before. When she was young, people always used to make fun of her because she was too slim; now whenever someone rejects her, she feels bad, not because of the rejection, but because this rejection touched her old wound.
Why do you think a guy may feel broken and devastated when he gets a rejection letter? Is it because he really wanted the job that much? Not really. If he wanted it that much, he would have felt bad about the rejection but not broken; it’s just that this rejection touched an old wound. As a child he was seldom encouraged by his parents and so he grew up lacking self-confidence in his abilities. Whenever he gets a rejection letter, he feels much pain, not because of being worried about his future, but because of his old wound that hasn’t yet healed.
Those Wounds Are Making You Vulnerable
Those wounds are making you vulnerable! Things that others usually dont pay attention to may prevent you from sleeping just because you have some wounds that haven’t healed. The more wounds you have, the more you’ll find that small things bother you and eventually become over-sensitive to every critical comment even if the other person didnt really mean to offend you.
The more wounds you have the less time you will feel happy, because every now and then, something will touch your wound and make you feel bad, just like the water touches your wounded hand in the example above. Some people think that they can heal their wounds by forgetting about them or by keeping themselves busy, however, this strategy always works against them. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how happiness can’t be really achieved unless you get rid of your emotional wounds or at least start dealing with them. Heal your wounds, face your problems, stop turning your back to them and you will kill depression.
How to Heal These Wounds?
Before you can heal any of these wounds you should first identify their location, or in other words, know the reason behind that wound. Dont just be passive; seek your answers and trace your wounds to their origin. If critical comments bother you, then dont just stay like that. Search the web, read more, think and analyze until you know the root cause and when you finally know the cause, healing the wound itself becomes much simpler.