With all of these books around talking about affirmations psychologist became curious to know whether they work or not.
They brought lots of people who have various degrees of self confidence then told them to repeat positive statements about their self confidence such as I am confident and I am worthy
What was found is that confident people felt more confident after the experiment while those who lacked confidence felt even worse.
The explanation is simple, when you repeat a statement that matches your inner belief system your subconscious mind will be reminded of the statement and will let you feel good if it was a positive one, on the other hand if you tried to force your subconscious mind to believe in something against its belief system it will sense the deception and so make you feel guilty.
In short, affirmations can never make you happy if you werent already happy nor can they make you more confident if you werent already feeling confident
We are not the same
Read as much as you can about happiness and you will find that most of the sources describe happiness in a different way. Some people will tell you that true happiness is in success, others will tell you that its in fame a third group will tell you that true happiness is being rich.
Everyone describes happiness from his own perspective without putting in mind that humans, unlike ants, are completely different and that what makes Sam happy would never make Sarah happy.
The conclusions is, everyone has his own belief system and according to it his own true happiness differs from others. The key to becoming truly happy to first understand the things that really make you happy then go on a quest to bring them.
Happiness and unmet needs
If a person lived his life suffering from poverty then became a millionaire he will be the happiest man ever (provided that money was his only problem). Research has shown that normal people who win the lottery return back to their original mood after getting used to it but those who have financial unmet needs never get used to the things they missed in the past.
Happiness In short can be achieved by understanding your unmet needs and working on fulfilling them. If your unmet need is intimacy then money, fame or positive thinking wont make you happy but only intimate relationships will.
Find your unmet needs, work on fulfilling them and you will discover real happiness. If you are Hungary then nothing will make you feel good except eating and if you tried to drink instead of eating you will still feel Hungary.
Happiness is the absence of bad emotions
Happiness can also be defined as the absence of bad emotions. If you had a fight with one of your friends in the morning you are less likely to feel happy that day because of the anger you experienced.
Many of us follow life styles that promote stress, anger, frustration and other bad emotions. Even if emotions werent intense still they would never allow you to feel happy if they existed.
You must learn how to avoid stress, negative people, unneeded quarrels and any other source of negative emotions that can be avoided.
Happiness and incorrectly set priorities
Ask anybody about his priorities and he will tell you that happiness is one of them, ask him about the things that he does in life and he will reply saying that he hates most of them.
How many people work at jobs that they hate then claim that happiness is a priority in their life?
How many people stay in abusive relationships yet claim that they want to live a happy life?
If you really want to be happy then happiness must be considered a priority that has an impact on the decisions you make in your life.
To summarize this all, becoming happy is all about understanding what makes you happy then doing it and knowing what makes you feel bad then avoiding it.