Are you feeling guilty about something you feel you should have or should not have done, thought, or felt? Do you sometimes feel guilty for not feeling guilty? Are you aware how this negative emotion is hurting others and you? Would you like to learn how to release your guilt feelings?
As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I have learned how guilt feelings can cause numerous problems. This negative emotion hurt the men, women, and children in many areas of their lives. Through the HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation) process I developed, I was able to assist them to uncover their unconscious guilt feelings and resolve their issues. Then they allowed themselves to be happy, healthy, and successful.
Basically, guilt feelings imply that you are a bad person and you do not deserve whatever you desire. The following are specific ways this negative emotion can affect you and examples.
Guilt can cause .
1) Low self-esteem. When Paul was a child, his parents had many arguments and he was often spanked. We discovered in his therapeutic sessions that he had unconsciously decided that he was responsible for their anger and pain. Therefore, he must be a bad person. The negative decision hurt Paul’s self-esteem. He did not feel he deserved his wife’s love and caring, and he unconsciously pushed her away. Paul felt terrible and so did his wife.
2) Accidents. Tonya, a 21-year-old pretty blonde, discovered that she was in a serious car accident because she felt guilty for having so much when her friends and family had so little. The incident left her with a scar on her forehead.
3) Disease. Mary realized that her physical problems started when she felt guilty for not being there for her mother when she was sick and died. Once she was able to forgive herself, her health improved dramatically.
4) Financial problems. Gary had a very successful business until his son died of an overdose of drugs. He learned in a therapy session that he felt guilty for his son’s death, because he was too busy to spend time with him.
5) Overweight problems. When Sandy was exploring the emotional causes of her weight issues in our therapy sessions, she said, “I am a bad person, because I hurt my sister. I don’t deserve to be slim.”
6) Relationship problems. John felt guilty for leaving his wife and children. He discovered in his therapy session that because he felt bad he was not allowing himself to commit to his girlfriend. Therefore, he was blocking his love and hurting himself and the woman he was involved with.
7) Academic problems. Stan was extremely intelligent but refused to go to college. He realized that when he was beaten as a child, he decided that he was bad and did not deserve to succeed.
Do you relate to any of the above issues? If you do, I suggest that you release your guilt in the following way:
1) Say or write, “I feel guilty because ___” and finish the sentence.
2) Then say or write, “I should (or should not) ____ (insert an action, thought, or feeling) or I am a bad person.”
3) Continue with the words, “I resent (the other side of guilt) ___” (insert an action, thought, or feeling).
4) Finally, say or write, “I am ____ (insert an action, thought or feeling) and I am a good person.”
1) I feel guilty because I do not call my mother every week.
2) I should call my mother every week or I am a bad person.
3) I resent having to call my mother every week.
4) I am only calling my mother when I want to and I am a good person.
Now that you are more conscious of guilt feelings, and you have learned how to resolve them, you can enjoy your life more and be safer and healthier. You deserve it all. Go for it!