Just what exactly is flirting? Many shy people don’t have a clear idea of what exactly it is or how it differs from ordinary conversation. Even seasoned flirters may have trouble giving its exact definition. Here are some flirting tips for shy girls.
Webster defines flirting as behaving “amorously without serious intent.” But sometimes the intent can be quite serious.
My own definition of flirting is “relaxed, lighthearted communication between a male and female with the intent of getting to know each other better.” Let’s look at that definition more carefully.
1. Relaxed. Flirting is more relaxed than ordinary conversation. If you seem tense, flirting just won’t work! Flirting must be done with supreme confidence in your ability to get to know the other person better.
2. Lighthearted. More smiling, laughing, and good humor are found during flirting than with most other conversations. No heavy subjects here. Crime, politics and other such topics are definitely “out.”
3. Communication. Flirting can definitely be called communication, although only in the lightest sense. What you are really communicating is your interest and attraction to the other person. Again, no heavy topics during flirting!
4. Between a male and a female. This is not just friendly chitchat. Flirting does have sexual overtones, or at least romantic, “I want to get to know you better” overtones. This is why flirting with someone can cause serious jealousy in their boyfriend or girlfriend.
5. With the intent of getting to know each other better. This is key. The purpose of flirting is not to discuss news or politics, not to network or to do business, but simply to get to know someone you find attractive better. Also learn the guy’s name, use it in the conversation, and be sure to remember it for later!