Are you feeling on top of the world right now? Feeling incredibly successful and enjoying life to the max? If the answer is no, I’ve got something quite shocking to tell you, success isn’t going to change that.
Its funny that often people equate success to being happy “oh if I had a threesome, then I’d be happy”, “If I could have 5 girls on the go, dating them all at once, then I’d be really happy”. It’s seen even more in the world of finance “all I need is another $5k a year, then I can afford anything I really want…”, once they get that pay rise, they want another, and another, it just never seems to fulfill them.
The truth is, these images of a grand future are only holding you back from being happy now. You will realize as so many others have done, once you actually make it to that point in your life that you’ve always wanted to be at, it really doesn’t fulfil you. Sure you may get a temporary high after your first threesome, just like you do after getting an unexpected cheque or a pay-rise at work, however after a while it really just doesn’t feel all that special anymore. It starts to become the daily routine and that happiness you thought would stay around forever begins to disappear. So you start looking at foursomes and a nice new Porsche believing that they are the way to extreme happiness for the rest of your life, and so the brutal cycle continues, true happiness only being that mirage, just a few steps away.
Once you arrive at a location, even if its a location you’ve always wanted to be at your entire life, it often doesn’t feel quite like you imagined. In fact, usually it just feels normal to be there and you start to see a new location that you really want to be at. This happens in every area of life, from relationships, to health, to wealth. In fact health is actually one of the biggest yet no one really notices. Often you ask people how they are on a scale of 1-10 with their health and it barely ever comes out to above an 8. Why is this? It’s because when you stop having problems, you generate them yourself, it add’s a bit more excitement in your life per-se and you have a new goal to work on. Most people always seem to have something wrong with them because of a placebo effect, their brain can’t tolerate being perfectly healthy and as such they start to feel a mild headache, pains in some random joints, itches over their body etc. Problems just seem to appear unexpectedly just when they think they are 2 steps away from being healthy.
Now you may think I’m being a bit depressing here, but there is a reason for this. You see, we can use this knowledge to our advantage, it can be used in a sort of reverse psychology kind of way to pull us towards the things we want. Not only this, once you realize that external events aren’t going to make you happy, you can begin to work on yourself, becoming happier and more positive in the present, rather than always thinking of your future or past.
Have you ever wondered why you go through extreme emotions (often incredibly happiness) when drunk? It’s because when you are drinking, you are no longer thinking about the past, or the future, you are simply living in the moment. When you live in that moment you forget about all the bad things in life and simply enjoy whats going on around you, you feel euphoric that the club/party is so amazing and when you wake up the next morning you think “damn that was a good night, now back to the daily grind…”. Little do many realize, if you stick in the moment just like when your drunk, every day can be exciting and wonderful, without the use of alcohol! Just live in the moment, and enjoy whats happening right now, appreciate what you have and be grateful that you have the freedom to choose.
You may also notice that when you have a bit to drink you seem to have a much better time with women. It’s working on the same theory, you’re not thinking about all your past failures with women, and your not worrying about whats going to happen in the future with these girls you are talking to. Your simply stuck in the moment having fun with them and enjoying your time together. You have no regrets, you have no fantasies about what you may get up to later which make you nervous (actually you may still have these ;)), you just have a good time out and enjoy yourself. The girls see you are genuinely having fun with them in the moment without external motives and they love you for that.
As you realize that its not the alcohol that is causing you to do better with women or have a more fun time, but merely your mindset, you can start to use this to your advantage. Next time your out with friends or talking to women just stick in the moment, try as hard as you can to not think about the past or the future, but simply sit there and say what you feel. Enjoy the time with her without worrying about will she give you her phone number/kiss/sex or not and just have fun. At the start this will be very very hard to do, turning off that little voice of the past that has been around forever is difficult, but the more you do this, the better you will get. Eventually you will discover as I have myself that you no longer need alcohol to have a fun night out and because you’re no longer drinking you can think clearer and no longer act like “just another drunk guy coming to chat up the girls”. It’s sad when I go out and see so many guys feeling they need to spend over $100 on drinks just to be able to talk to a girl and have a fun time with her, because they can’t find a way to be in the moment any other way.
Overall just enjoy your life as it is, look at goals as things to strive for, but don’t tie your happiness to them. They feel great as accomplishments it is satisfying to work towards them, but if you are not feeling amazing right now, it’s not going to come from another pay rise. Stop looking at that greener grass on the other side of the fence and start enjoying what’s on your side, for there is someone out there who would consider your life simply brilliant.