In recent years there has been a massive increase in the number of people who are troubled by emotional problems. More and more people are lonely and depressed, or angry and unruly, or worried, nervous and fearful, more impulsive or aggressive. There is less tolerance, less compassion, less empathy for others. And compassion and empathy are mental skills which underpin our ability to create good relationships, without which we are unhappy.
All humans are in fact born with a natural inclination to be empathetic. This instinct is visible in young children who clearly show distress when they hear another baby crying. At some level they can identify with another’s distress and discomfort and it has an effect upon their own mood. And so even a baby has the ability to put themselves in another baby’s shoes – they show empathy, without trying. It’s an inherent part of a baby’s nature.
As we grow, our nature develops as we learn from our carers. We imitate their actions, reactions and mannerism; we learn how to cope with life situations as they show us their pattern of coping strategies. We learn how to regulate our emotions. It has been observed that babies of just a few months in age will mirror their mothers’ moods, and where the mother is depressed this results in the baby displaying much less spontaneity or interest.
Where a parent or carer guides a child to be ever more aware of the impact one may have on another, that child will become steadily more empathetic. If, on the other hand, a child is not shown how to contain their emotions, or not guided in the direction of empathy, a very different pattern unfolds. A child learns about themselves and about life in general from their individual and unique experiences. Each child has their own basic temperament at birth, and this is tempered by experience and adapts to the experiences and circumstances faced.
A baby has an instinctive need for attention and approval. There is a need for eye contact and human touch. In one terrible experiment which was devised and executed many years ago, this need was demonstrated in a very harsh way. Babies were placed in two groups – one group had all the “basic needs” of food, water, being changed, etc fulfilled, but no eye contact and no “unnecessary” touch, love or hugs. The other babies were given eye contact, love and affection as well as the other so-called “basic needs”. The babies in the first group had trouble in growing, some even died. A dramatic and terrible way in which to prove the need for human affection in our lives.
One of the most important things in life is the ability to create and to maintain good relationships. As we grow up the basic perceptions which we form about ourselves are based on the reactions of the people around us. Studies of feral children have shown that parts of our brains don’t even develop when deprived of human interaction.
Human interaction, and the building of relationships, is a basic necessity to comfortable human existence. Our perceptions of ourselves are formed, generally, in the first seven years of our life. If we have parents or carers who are emotionally aware and contain their own emotions well, they set a comfortable and positive example for the child to copy; and copy the child does. That’s how we learn virtually everything in life, through mimicking and copying. The emotional experiences we have in these first few years create a blue print for later life, for later relationships.
If you did not have the right kind of love and affection whilst growing up you will most likely have developed an insecure attachment pattern. But, no matter what age you are, or how deep rooted that pattern may be, what can be learned can be unlearned and replaced with a more positive relationship blueprint.
Hypnosis is a wonderful tool which enables deep rooted change to take place. Hypnosis is normal and natural; it is a state of relaxation and allows access to your subconscious mind. With hypnosis you can access that part of your mind which was so open to suggestion as a child, and so hypnotic suggestions can be made which will undo negative patterns of thought and belief. Instead powerful hypnotic suggestions can be made to build up your inner confidence, to increase you ability to create loving and close relationships. You really can change your beliefs about yourself as you open your mind to the possibilities which hypnosis allows.
You can even do this in the comfort of your own home, by using hypnosis downloads. You can obtain hypnosis confidence downloads from the internet and as you listen to them you will find that you can easily feed your inner child with the thoughts, beliefs, feelings and expectations which previously seemed to be unreachable. Hypnosis confidence downloads are incredibly powerful.
Some people are scared of the idea of hypnosis but this is only because they do not know what it is. It’s normal and natural, and creates a wonderful feeling of relaxation and calmness. You can get a free hypnosis download from my website and try it for yourself if you like.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for hypnosis confidence.