Everyone is different. Some of us like to have a wide circle of friends whilst others prefer to just have one or two good friends. When you move to a new country or even a new area it can be difficult to work out how to make new friends and find your place within your new community.
Many factors come into play. There can be language, cultural, educational or economic forces which impact upon the socialization process. There are also personal attributes which affect the way in which you build friendships and relationships with others. Some of us are shy whilst others are confident. Some of us have interests which provide a platform which makes it easier to bond with others, whilst others have interests which do not involve meeting and mixing with others.
You may have heard of a fun psychological test called the “Cube”. Basically, you are asked a series of simple questions. You have a desert scenery and there is a cube in that desert; describe your cube. That’s the first question. Then you are told that you have a ladder in your desert and asked to describe your ladder. You also have a horse in your desert and go on to describe your horse. A few further questions and the test is complete.
At the end you are simply told that the cube represents you as a person, the ladder your friends, the horse stands for your partner and so on. This test is simple and a lot of fun and also very revealing! I have heard people describe their cube as a sugar cube or a harem tent. I recall one person saying that their cube was very small and positioned just far enough away from their horse so that they couldn’t be kicked.
But reverting to the subject of friendship, some people have strong steel ladders whilst others have old rotten wooden ones. Some ladders are inside the cube whilst others or outside, either leaning up against the cube or thrown away at a distance from the cube. I have heard someone say that they had chopped their ladder up and used it for firewood whilst another said they just used it as something to tether their horse to.
There are no right or wrong answers to this test. There is no analysis at the end. But I think everyone goes away thinking about what they have said and perhaps worry about what it has revealed to themselves (and others) about their own personality or priorities.
There is no doubt that some of us value our friends more than others and some of us find it more difficult to make friends than others. We are each living this life on our own pathway and have selected our own priorities. But sometimes it is good to reflect upon our day to day life and values.
It is good to ask yourself if you really do value your friends enough. And then if the answer comes up in the negative you could, if your wished, decide to do something to change that. It is never too late to change.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads for relationship issues.
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