Some people love chaos, whilst others do not. Some people thrive on chaos; they have to be under pressure in order to be motivated to do anything at all. At the opposite end of the scale, some people are obsessive about their need to be organized and to feel ahead of the game and completely in control.
It is amazing to me how different we human beings can be in our habits and preferences. So long as your habits are conducive to you feeling comfortable and happy in your life, that is all that really matters. If your choices however are the cause of discomfort and conflict, then it is probably time for a change. It is interesting to observe how another person describes something, and the insights it can provide into that person’s psyche.
When you hear someone say that they need to take control, this definitely does not mean that they want to do so. If that person wanted to take control they would already have done so or would be in the process of working out a way of doing so. Whenever a person says “I need to do such and such” there is generally an unsaid tag line, saying effectively “but I do not want to”, or “I’m not willing to expend the effort in doing that” or “I don’t know how to do it”.
And yet the fact that person makes the statement that they need to do something shows that they know logically that it would be in their interest to do whatever it may be. There is an implied conflict which they are in the process of trying to come to terms with. Usually there is a lot of unconscious input into that conflict. Your logical mind and your emotional mind are often out of kilter, and somehow they need to be aligned in order to resolve the conflict and achieve a state of peace, comfort and relaxation.
This of course assumes that you do indeed want to achieve a state of peace; for some this is a very unfamiliar feeling and one which they do not in reality seek. This person may indeed prefer the adrenalin rush of excitement in their life and does not wish to give that up. This person may actually enjoy their chaos.
One thing for sure though is that if you do WANT to do something then to affirm to yourself that you want it as opposed to merely NEED it, opens up a whole new set of possibilities. Your mind is opened like a parachute being unfurled. And like a parachute, your mind is of far more use when it is open.
A thought without an emotion to back it up will achieve no effect. A thought which has an opposing emotion will always lose to the emotion. Emotion is what fuels action and so by WANTING to do something, you are employing emotion. By NEEDING to do something there is usually a conflicting emotion present.
The very first place for effecting change is to rephrase your inner dialogue and appreciate what you really want. Then you can ask your inner mind, your inner wisdom, to find a way in which you can achieve your real goal. Your logical mind and your emotions will become aligned, and then your subconscious mind will find a way to achieve your clearly defined goal. To speed up this process, hypnosis is a great help. With hypnosis you access your inner mind, your subconscious mind and you therefore have access to all of its wisdom and its enabling powers.
The person who simply needs will need for a very long time. The person who really wants will find a way to achieve their goal. And the more they want, the more quickly they will achieve.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis for change.