A lot of people feel that they are “different” from other people, in some way. Whilst some people like to feel different and high-light their uniqueness, others find it rather difficult and uncomfortable. The majority of people like to feel that they “fit-in”; they feel more comfortable and confident when they are on the same wave-length, or if they can blend in with others. Most people like to be different in some circumstances and blend in when in other circumstances.
If you watched the film “Gran Torino” you will be aware of how “different” Clint Eastwood’s neighbor felt; the young lad whose cousins had formed a small “gangster” band whilst he preferred to help at home and to try to follow a more law-abiding existence. This movie highlighted so many people who felt different.
Clint Eastwood played Walt, who had trouble fitting in after returning from the war. He played the part of someone suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. The sister of the lad next door was different too as she was more fearless than one might expect, more “ballsy”. She was part of the Asian community which had moved into the neighborhood, with Walt being one of the few westerners left – this made him different on another count.
The Gangster group had found their own way of dealing with their differences. They had turned to violence as a way of scaring off others and standing out, as a way of being noticed and building their own self-confidence. But they wanted their cousin to join them, they tried their best to force him into a life of crime, and he only just managed to escape this fate. The situation showed that the lads in this gang, although wanting to be different they also wanted others to be different like them – as a reverse method of fitting in.
If you have a high level of self confidence you are generally happy wherever you are, whatever the company is, so long as it is safe, that is. If you have lower levels of self-confidence, then different types of behavior can be observed. Some people purposely try to be different as a means of getting attention. I have a friend whose mantra in life is “I don’t do authority”. She will do the exact opposite of what she thinks people expect or want. She stands out in this way; she gets attention in this way. And as has been demonstrated in numerous research studies, negative attention is better than no attention.
Another friend of mine suggested the other day that if she was me she would be playing up my “Englishness” when in America so as to be different and get noticed. My own instinctive tendency has always been a combination of blending in and just being me, as opposed to intentionally high-lighting my differences. “Different horses for different courses” as the saying goes.
There are many different ways in which one can act so as to feel more comfortable and more confident. But there is one sure thing in life and this is that we do need attention; this is one of the “givens” in human existence. In fact we CANNOT SURVIVE without human interaction. This was proven many years ago in a very unfortunate study involving several new born babies – those who were denied human interaction either grew at a lesser rate than those who were given love and affection, or even died.
We tend to fall upon our methods of gaining attention and confidence by accident. We do something and it gets attention and so we do it again, and more often than not the foundations of behavioral tendencies are set for life. Few of us know of different ways in which we can change how we feel, ways in which we can feel more secure and confident, and perhaps then find more appropriate ways in which to behave.
If you would like to feel more confident and to gain human attention in a different way I would recommend hypnosis downloads as a wonderful way of helping yourself. Hypnosis is a state of mind which is natural and normal and everyone can do it. In hypnosis your brainwaves change from the beta waves of waking conscious to the alpha-theta of relaxation and sleep. At night when you dream you go into an REM state and this is essential to your well-being. It is the instinctive way in which your brain resolves unconscious conflicts. In hypnosis you also access this REM state, the normal state of dreaming, and so you can resolve internal conflicts quickly and easily.
In hypnosis you have access to your subconscious mind, the part of your mind where instinctive thought patterns, habits and behaviors are stored. Simply by listening to a hypnosis download you can access your subconscious mind and change your instinctive thoughts and behaviors. Suggestions can be made whilst you are in hypnosis to allow you to act in new and empowering ways. With hypnosis you can build your confidence and pave the way to feeling comfortable in every situation which you may encounter.
Hypnosis is a state of relaxation and allows you to take a step back and see things from a different angle. You will be able to see things more clearly and find new ways in which to feel good, simply by listening to hypnosis downloads.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for hypnosis confidence, self-improvement and success.