Divorce Myths

Myth 1: Women are Disinclined to Divorce and Regret the Decision Later

Women divorce petitioners outnumber men petitioners in UK, USA, many parts of Europe, Japan, China, and many other countries over the globe. If women were disinclined to divorce, these figures would not have been startlingly similar trans-continentally and trans-racially.

This concept might have taken root in the days preceding women empowerment. Divorce would have plunged financially dependant women into much monetary hardship and they might have regretted the disunion. Economically independent, modern women, hardly harbour such feelings.

Women not only petition a divorce they also enjoy single life after the proceedings are over. They are happier after their divorce and emerge from the emotional pain much faster. Many women, especially in the middle-aged group, report elevated levels of self-confidence and positive self-image, after their marital separation. Regretting a divorce sounds untrue in the given circumstances.

Of course, women do love the marital safety net much more than men. They try hard to preserve a marriage and take the ultimate step when all attempts fail. They generally turn initiators of the proceedings, when their effort to prevent substance abuse, violence or infidelity in their mate is met with repeated failure.

Myth 2: Are Men More Infidel than Women?

Statistics stating that one third of the men and one fourth of the women admit to having cheated their spouses have been frequently mentioned. Another set of figures states that 8 out of 10 men have suffered spousal infidelity. Neither of these statements has ever been substantiated due to the strict cloak of secrecy that shrouds this issue. Moreover, ‘cheating,’ is a rather ambiguous term. Some even consider sending romantic e-mails to a colleague at work or viewing adulterous sites as constituting to cheating a spouse.

However, adultery is the prime reason cited for a divorce in the UK and majority of the divorces are granted to the women -‘the innocent victims.’ This fact might be taken to mean that men cheat more than women.

‘Men are more infidel than women’ was also proved by a study conducted to analyse the adulterous behaviour of men and women. The findings revealed that men are twice as likely to cheat their spouses. Women also cheat, but their acts stem more from their biological desire, rather than a desire to be unfaithful. Majority of the cheating spouses belonged to the group that cohabited prior to marriage or were in the high income bracket. About 40% of the spouses cheated when they had children at home, unmindful of the consequences of their acts on their offspring. This leads us to contemplate if men really care for their children.

Myth 3: Men Do Not Care for their Children as much as Women

Men (fathers) do care for their children as much as the mother (in majority of the households). However, nature has selected women to be the primary care-givers. The maternal instinct for protecting and loving children runs strong in women. As the initial nurturing of the infant is done by the mother, it leads to a strengthening of motherly bond. However, these gender-based roles are being re-defined. Fathers are capable of, and are caring for their young like the mothers. In fact, studies have proved that despite increase in domestic responsibilities, fathers are more loving and take more time off to play with their children. Even infants, when placed in non-stressful conditions, showed a preference to be with their fathers, while under more stressful conditions, they preferred either their father or mother.

The myth that men do not care for their children has been perpetuated, by the increasing numbers of men who abandon their children. This act of desertion can again be attributed to biological factors. A mother loves her child, right from the time the child is in the womb. A father lacks the biological bonding and some young men (in their early twenties) who lack the psychological maturity, abandon their children, thus reinforcing the misled notion.

Men and women love their children equally, some men are infidel and their unfaithful acts might lead to a divorce. Women, who petition the divorce, do not regret the decision and are known to lead happy lives after the divorce is finalised.