Dialogue for Difficult Situation

Gina was so excited! A man she was really interested in FINALLY called to invite her out!

“So are you free this weekend?” He asked.

“Yes I am,” Gina responded.

“Great. Let’s get together.”

“Great.”

“So what do you want to do?” He asked.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Gina asked.

“Whatever you want. I’m flexible.”

“Me too. I don’t care,” Gina said.

And after a few rounds of “I don’t know, what do you want?” Gina is so frustrated by the man’s lack of a plan that the energy drains right out of the phone call.

What could Gina have done? How could she have kept her date in a position of respect and the chemistry high?

Chances are if a man asks out a woman then asks her to make the plan, he’s doing it to please her. He doesn’t want to take a risk on taking her someplace she doesn’t want to go.

However he unknowingly frustrates her when he invites her out without a plan.

How would you get your date to step up and make the plan?

First…

1. Give Him the Right to be Wrong

It’s appropriate for a woman who doesn’t want to be the respected leader to say something like, “You have every right to ask me to make the plan.” (This gives him permission to be who he is and do things his way.)

Then…

2. Express Your Feelings

Tell him you’re uncomfortable leading. Offer that he presents some ideas and you’ll express how you feel about them.

Finally…

3. Make an Agreement

Ask him what he thinks about presenting ideas.

If the man doesn’t agree to make the plan (and you don’t want to) there’s no agreement. You’re done. It’s over.

A masculine man will appreciate a woman’s willingness to let him lead. Chances are, he’ll be relieved to initiate ideas.

The key thing to remember here is to know your role and speak your part.

A feminine woman gets what she wants by knowing what she doesn’t want. In this situation, Gina didn’t want to lead so she needed to guide the man into making the plan as soon as he asked her what she wanted to do.

This way he feels respected and Gina feels good about accepting the date.

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