Dating and Starting a Conversation

Tips for Starting a Conversation with Your New Partner

Many people turn to online dating to escape the awkwardness of beginning a new relationship in person. Online dating is a medium in which the pressure of rejection and performance are relatively low; you have hours or days to compose a response to an email and if you feel that the relationship will not work out, you can simply press “delete”.

However, if you are going to elevate your online relationship to a new level by meeting with your online dater in person, then it is important that you have something to say. If you find that general communication is a challenge, then read through these tips to ensure that you have something to rely on. These tips are also good for individuals that just want to brush up on their social skills.

1. Relax.
As hard as it may seem in the beginning, it is vital that you relax into the conversation when you first meet in person. If you are update, fidgety and openly nervous, you will not only make your date feel awkward, but you will have a harder time enjoying the date. Remember to take deep breaths. Relax the muscles in your back and neck. Smile and focus your energy and attention on your date.

2. Smile.
The quickest and easiest way to break the ice is to smile. When you smile, don’t make it a nervous or forced smile, but rather, make it a full-toothed, genuine grin. Smiling not only releases endorphins in your bloodstream that will make you happy, but it also lets your partner know that you’re interested in him or her.

3. Ask questions about their interests.
The easiest way to start any sort of conversation is to ask leading questions about another person’s interests. It is important that these questions are open ended questions that lead into a multi-sentence response, such as “what do you enjoy doing on the weekends.” Avoid asking single answer yes/no questions, such as, “do you like to do things on the weekends.” Open-ended questions will encourage your date to respond freely with whatever information pops into his or her head as he or she talks.

4. Talk about yourself.
So often, people are so interested in making a good impression with politeness that they refrain from talking about you. However, you must keep in mind that you are both checking each other out to see if you’re compatible. It is fine and acceptable to talk about yourself, but don’t overdo it!