CREATING INTIMACY with YOURSELF

Ann Wilson Schaef has made many interesting contributions to our knowledge of ourselves and ourselves in relationship. She said that: ” As long as we are looking outside ourselves for intimacy, we will never have it and we will never be able to share it. In order to be intimate with another person, we have to know who we are, what we feel, what we think, what our values are, what is important to us, and what we want. If we do not know these things about ourselves, we can never share them with another person.” This has important implications for daily life, doesn’t it?

How well do you know yourself? When you look at something, can you immediately tell if you like it? When you are invited somewhere, do you know if you want to go? When you think about a vacation, do you know where next you would like to go? When it is mealtime, do you know what you want to eat? If you were asked to list the three things that are most important to you in this world, the three things you value most, could you? Do you know what really pleases you? If someone said they would like to do something really nice for you, do you know what you would want? Knowing yourself this well helps you to please yourself…and to allow other people to please you, too.

Consider making a “dream inventory”. Have a lovely cup of tea, take it to a beautiful spot and make a list of all the things you would like to be, do and have before you are finished with living…no restrictions, no limitations. Keep the list in a visible place and feel free to add to it. This is the beginning of creating these things in your life. First you have to know what they are. Then you have to decide which ones are current, or next. Action follows and dreams are realized. It happens because you want it to happen. It happens, too, because you believe it can happen and it will happen….for you!

You’ve probably often heard that what you can conceive and believe, you can achieve. A Harvard study following the lives of a graduating class over twenty years found that the most successful graduates,… and, yes, the wealthiest, too…were the ones who had written their goals and pursued them with passion. The clarity they had about what they wanted in their lives translated into action and they met or exceeded their goals
consistently.

By Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, San Diego, CA.
Founder Spiritual Living Network™
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