But, I can’t because…

Have you ever heard hear someone say this statement, “but, I can’t because.” Maybe you’ve even said it a few times yourself. Either way, it is a powerful statement that can change the direction of all the words that follow it.

Test this out for yourself the next time you notice someone saying this statement. Very often that “something” that people are telling you that they cannot do is the very something that they want to do. For example, “I want another job, but I can’t because…” Or “I want to get a new car, but I can’t because…” or “I want a (fill in the blank) but I can’t because…” If you pay close attention you’ll also notice that some people will even argue with you, someone else, for all the reasons why they cannot have the very thing they want in their lives. Do not argue with people about this because the more energy they put into the argument, the more they are convinced they cannot achieve it. And in a sense, it is the truth. It is their truth in that moment in time. Try honoring their truth. People are much more likely to make changes in their lives when you respect where they are, whether you agree with their position or not.

If you catch yourself saying “I can’t because…” here’s a simple series of Change Your Life Coaching Tip(s) that will, with regular practice, dramatically transform your life.

When you catch yourself saying, “but, I can’t because” congratulate yourself because you’ve already encountered step one; awareness that you’re saying it. The next step is to be gentle and patient with yourself. It’s ok if you said it. It’s not a bad thing to make the statement, just realize where it’s taking you.

The next step is to choose a different statement that is more empowering. One suggestion is to replace it with the statement “and, I can because…” It’s ok if you don’t fully believe it, just go with it and see what you start to say after that statement; before you know it you’ll be making arguments for all the reasons why you can have what you want.