This weekend, my friend Dr. Kate and I spent almost 5 hours at the beach. No, we didn’t go to sunbathe, we went to release. You see, I’ve read books like Think and Grow Rich and Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I’ve played the Prosperity Game. I’ve read Catherine Ponder’s book, Open Your Mind to Prosperity at least 10-12 times. I believe that thoughts create reality. Yet I wasn’t seeing the financial results I really desired. I was making things happen, but never reaching that deep, longing, goal of being a true success: fully free to be myself and prospering wildly as a result.

Sound ambitious? Yep, that’s what I heard all my life. “Why do you have to dream so big? You’re getting too big for your britches. Who do you think you are?” Yet my yearning to “be more” never went away. I tried to kill it. Drugs, food, sex, shopping. Nothing worked. As soon as I experienced a moment of silence…it was back.

I decided to take the ol’ attitude, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” I figured since I wanted to succeed and many other people told me I could, why not “go for it”? If only it were that easy. Just because I wanted to ‘go for it’ on one hand, there was always that other little voice. The one that said “Oh, there you go again, thinking you’re so great and wonderful. You are selfish. What will people think? What about the starving children in Africa? How can you dream so big when there are people suffering?” Boy oh boy, I gave a lot of good years to that voice. But now, I’m older, I’m tougher and “Frankly, my dear, (to steal the famous quote from Gone with the Wind) I don’t give a Damn.”

That’s why I decided to read Open Your Mind to Receive. You see, I’m great at creating things. Especially for other people, (hint, hint…if you’re experiencing a sinking feeling in the pit of your gut, read on) but allowing myself to receive was quite a different story. That would mean I’d have to let go and be open to assistance from others. That would mean I’d have to admit that I’m not in control after all. And when I wasn’t in control, my core belief, “I’m not good enough” was activated. It was too painful and shameful to experience this, let alone allow someone to see it. So, I often pretended that I didn’t need help and therefore, I never got it. The belief, “I’m not good enough” has ruined many a fabulous woman. I know, I have them as clients and frankly…I’m a little mad about the way we’ve allowed ourselves to be pushed around.

But I digress. What I really want you to know is that after I started reading Open Your Mind to Receive, it became quickly apparent to me that when Catherine Ponder recommended releasing old items and old ideas as a way to attract good into my life, I knew exactly what had to go. No, I didn’t clean out my closet or my garage. I cleaned out my head. Yep, turns out there are some thoughts and memories that were swimming around up there since about 1972. Stuff like, “It’s your fault. You should have done something. If people know who you really are, they won’t like you. You didn’t do it right” and so on and so on and so on.

So here’s what Dr. Kate and I did. We wrote a list of all the garbage in our heads: resentments, hurtful statements, old relationships, perfectionistic ideas and limiting beliefs. Then, we took our lists to the beach, talked about some of the doo doo we were ready to trash; laughed, yelled, told animated stories and felt free. I put one match in the ground for each thing listed (you can see, I had a lot of gunk to clean out). After I was finished, I lit the mother up (literally and literally). That’s right, I set the whole damn thing on fire. Up in flames. Old news. Can’t put it back together. Phew, I feel good. By the way, before I left, I tore up my list and threw it in the trash at the dog beach, right along with the dog doo doo where it belongs.

P.S. If you decide to try this, do me a favor: 1) do it outdoors 2) be safe 3) if anything bad happens, don’t blame it on me. I’m just sharing my story.