Be the Center of Attention – Anytime, Anywhere

When you are a socially-skilled person, you will achieve a higher level of greatness only because other people will promote you by telling others what a great person you are to be around or to do business with. Yes, these skills will help you make lots of money.

My friend “Red” was the consummate people-person. He made a small fortune selling used cars – part time! People made an appointment with him just to buy from him and only him! They spread the word to their friends that Red was the go-to guy for a used car.

When you master the following social skills, you will have the trust and all-out support of others just like Red. These will be people you have helped who are eager to help you. All you have to do is ask and they will bend over backwards to get you what you need. This gives you a small army of people who will help you achieve anything your heart desires.

Once you learn the following social skills and apply them, you reach a level self-empowerment never imagined by you. In effect, self-empowerment is making a general overhaul of your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person. You just have to know and apply the following 10 skills.

1. Be genuine.

Make sure you go at this with good motives. People can read a phony and you will be stopped before you can even get started because people will tell others to keep away from you.

Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet. Once they perceive that you have selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Be the greatest listener that you can be.

To earn the love and trust of people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact and listen intently because every word they speak matters. And, ask questions to draw them out. Resist giving them unsolicited advice. Just listen, ask questions, and listen some more. Soon they will see that you are a person they can confide in.

3. Laugh out loud.

Don’t force yourself to laugh at every joke or comment if you do not find it funny. A polite smile is fine in that case but, if it’s funny to you, laugh out loud. Find humor in things and don’t be deadly serious about everything. When you display an awesome sense of humor, you will attract others and eventually, build successful relationships.

4. Don’t forget yourself.

In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, guard against allowing others to walk all over you. If you love and value yourself before anyone else, if you see yourself worthy of affection and respect, people will flock to you and not simply use you. What do I mean by this? It’s a fact that some people will see your personality as weak and will not take you seriously. Ignore them and move to others who appreciate you.

5. Be a “good-deed-doer.”

You don’t have to give until you are broke. In fact, money is the worst thing you can give. Instead, do little acts of kindness. These matter most and can be as simple as sending someone a surprise “Thinking of you” card or helping someone acquire something they need through one of your friends or contacts. I often use my network of acquaintances to make things happen for others with a simple phone call.

6. Contact your old friends.

Many friendships are destined to end for various reasons beyond our control. But, thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping through your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers will surely make you, and them, feel good all over.

If you locate them, don’t make direct contact at first. Instead, break the ice by sending a card with your phone number enclosed. Invite them to contact you. Let things take a natural course. They may have reasons for not renewing the friendship.

7. Kill your negative personality.

Are you grouchy, grumpy and generally a doom-and-gloom person? If you are, I’ll bet you can count your friends and acquaintances on one hand! Get rid of those traits and habits that have been hampering your growth. No one wants to be around a grouch.

8. Be confident.

This takes courage at first but learn to move around a room of people and purposely introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant. Apply #1 and #2 above as you meet and greet new people.

9. Practice control.

When angry, don’t snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of the situation. Transform your anger into something more productive. If your anger rises to gigantic proportions easily, people will find it hard to confide in you. In fact, people will avoid you.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.

Whatever happens in life, your relationships with your family, friends and significant others are so precious that you must not neglect them. Keep them active by going out and having fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never elude you when the people who matter most to you are close to you.

In the end, self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It’s a win-win situation – people know they can turn to you for help and comfort and they will be eager to return the favor.

Yours for success in life.
Jim DeSantis