Do you think you could stop surfing the web long enough to get me a latte? I would hate to think your horoscope for the day includes bad customer service. For some reason, snapping at the coffee house barista made Jane feel just a bit better. Jane slammed some money on the counter and waited for her coffee. When it was ready she picked it up and marched out of the coffee house, letting the door close in the face of the person walking out behind her.
Wow, Jane really seems to be in a bad mood. And it would appear that she really doesnt care who else experiences her mood.
OK, lets try another version of the scene with Jane and the coffee house.
Scene One Take Two:
Jane took a deep breath as she opened the door to the coffee house. She knew that she was tired and really on edge. Jane also knew that when she was tired she had a tendency to be impatient and say things she would later regret. With this thought in mind, Jane approached the counter, smiled and said, Excuse me; I would like to order a latte please.
Now, that is Jane being self-aware.
Self-Awareness is one of the five components of Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence or EQ is not about traditional intelligence. It is about our ability to handle ourselves and others. It is all about our ability to get along with others and build relationships. A person who is self-aware understands their own moods and emotions and also how those moods and emotions may impact others.
When you are self-aware, you can also begin to regulate your behavior. And that is what we will talk about in our next article on EQ, self-regulation.