There is much evidence these days of people rushing into things without taking sufficient time to think. The consequences are usually not too detrimental, although sometimes the effect is less than pleasing.
I know myself that I have a rather short fuse when I encounter answering systems which leave you dangling for an indefinite time and when you eventually get through to a human they cannot put you through to the correct department! Another “pet hate” which I have is directed at companies who clearly have a policy of never apologizing, no matter what they have done.
I was reminded of how angry people can get for little reason these days when I received the following e-mail:-
“Your relaxing sample that you sent to my email does not work!! Send me one that does.
If you don’t then we know that you’re a big, fat fraud!!!”
Now, I don’t know how you would have reacted, but I found myself taking a step back and wondering what on earth had gotten into this person. Before responding I checked the hypnosis download code on their e-mail, clicked on the link and checked what happened; it downloaded immediately onto my desktop. I then checked the sound quality of each track and it was perfect. I then emailed the person back, thanking them for getting in touch and asking if they would elaborate upon the issues they had encountered. I also pointed out that the download had worked perfectly well for me. I did not even receive a reply. Great!
I find myself wondering why this person was so rude. They had clicked on a link for an entirely free product, had encountered an issue in downloading (which looks as if it was caused by them not following the simple instructions which accompanied their codes), and then sent a rudely worded e-mail in which they did not see fit to include a “please” or “thank you” whilst at the same time inferring that I was committing a fraud.
I suspect that this person has had some negative experiences with internet purchases in the past and when the download didn’t appear to work immediately, they quickly dashed off this angry note. This person had made a “pattern match” with something which had gotten them angry in the past. They were not thinking clearly when they sent the e-mail or they would no doubt have worded it in a more polite manner at least.
I do understand that this e-mail was not really directed at me. What happens when something is found to be frustrating, or has triggered off a feeling of anger, is that the emotional part of the brain takes over and the logical thinking part of the mind is bypassed. I also in this particular circumstance know that my download system was not at fault; but even if it had been a computer/website error, I would still not really expect this type of e-mail. Mistakes do happen, odd glitches happen, and everyone who uses a computer should be more than aware of this phenomenon. It seems that we have (a lot of us) become intolerant; we expect perfection and we are quick to become angry and point an accusing finger.
I received the following e-mail from someone else which also demonstrates this point:-
“Most of the quality hypnosis people let you sample the session. Why can’t we hear one, single, sound without paying for it on this website? I want to sample what I buy where are the samples?”
I sent a nice response saying that there was a great free hypnosis relaxation available via the home page which they must have missed. It is smack middle of the home page. Never the less, this person decided to write an e-mail which in effect demanded something for nothing whilst at the same time inferring that I was not a “quality hypnosis” person if I did not!
What is wrong I ask in being polite? What does it cost? Is it really that difficult to think before you speak? Surely this person could have said something along the lines of “Hi, I have come across your website and would really like to listen to a sample before I make a purchase. I notice other sites usually do this.” What is more, neither of these people acknowledged my response or apologized for their rudeness.
I don’t mean to “get at” these individuals; that is not the point of these ramblings of mine. I’m merely using them to demonstrate how short a fuse so many people have and how much nicer the world would be if everyone said “please” and “thank you” and treated others with respect.
When you know you have “pet hate” or something to which you only have a short fuse, it is important to learn how to take a step back and relax, before you end up responding in an emotional or aggressive manner. Taking a deep breath will help you relax and re-engage your logical mind. It’s also worth reminding yourself to not generalize; whatever is happening now should be seen as a one-off, not as one of a series of things. The natural tendency is to generalize which also creates an expectation of something, and then you only see what you expect to see; you make a mountain out of a mole-hill.
If you are aware that you react to the majority of situations in an overly aggressive or defensive manner, then it is important to know that this can be changed by learning to think in a different way. Hypnosis is a state of relaxation and so by learning to use hypnosis you can learn to relax very easily. Hypnosis is easy to learn and easy to use with the help of a hypnosis recording. (You can get a free hypnosis relaxation from my website: it’s on the home page!)
With hypnosis you also have access to your subconscious mind, the part which knows just what to do and just how to do it; the part which acts spontaneously. Therefore if you want to change a habitual pattern of behavior hypnosis will help you to access the part of your mind which is in the driving seat. If the pattern of behavior which you would like to change is a tendency to be angry or aggressive you can get hypnosis mp3s designed specifically to help you to stop being angry.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in quality hypnosis mp3 recordings to help us all to have a happy and enjoyable life.
P.S. Another way in which to step back from frustration is to write about it! Or perhaps write a song and put it on U-Tube as one gentleman did when a certain airline would not accept responsibility for breaking his guitar.